Breaking Brad: Ugly sweaters are in this holiday season -
Published Monday, December 17, 2012 at 1:30 pm / Updated at 7:08 am
Breaking Brad: Ugly sweaters are in this holiday season

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning edition.

* Cox email has been restored after being out over the weekend. Cox customers could send emails but not receive them. Great, now that it's back I can finally find out if that stranger in Nigeria who was locked out of his car and needed $2,000 for a locksmith got the check I sent.

* Cox officials will have an explanation for the outage just as soon as they figure out a way to tie it to the Fort Calhoun nuclear plant.

* John Boehner is proposing raising taxes on those earning over $1 million per year. Mitt Romney said, "Oh, come on, John. I thought we agreed a middle-class tax increase was off the table."

* On Sunday night, ABC televised the wedding of “Bachelorette” couple Ashley and J.P. Here's the amazing thing: Almost 12 hours later, they're still together.

* More information is coming out about the missile North Korea launched into orbit. Apparently it's powered by a potent mix of high octane rocket fuel. This is the same stuff Lance Armstrong snorted during the 2005 Tour de France.

* North Korea has been holding massive rallies to commemorate its successful launch of a “weather satellite.” Either there's more here than meets the eye or they're incredibly geeked on knowing the barometric pressure.

* To commemorate the failed missile launch in April, North Korea held a parade that traveled 40 yards and then drove into a ditch.

* One popular Christmas gift this year – ugly sweaters. Who ever knew that members of the PGA and local news anchormen would be trendsetters?

* Wednesday is the last day you can mail a package and expect it to get there by Christmas. And Thursday is the last day you can drive to Westroads and expect to get a parking space before the 25th.

* The Federal Reserve just released a new statement. It is pledging to keep interest rates low until pigs fly through a hell that is completely frozen over.

* Colorado named a new head football coach – Mike MacIntyre. He's preparing to be Colorado coach by dodging snowballs while being booed.

* Minnesota Vikings quarterback Christian Ponder is engaged to ESPN sideline reporter Samantha Steele, who insists she can keep her objectivity during interviews. I don't know. Anytime an interview begins with “OK, baby doll, what were you thinking on the TD pass?” I'm thinking the interviewer is partial.

* This will be the first postgame interview that begins with “OK, sweetheart” since Brent Musburger last talked to the Honey Badger.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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Nebraska banking and finance director to retire
Waitress who served alcohol to teen before fatal crash gets jail time, probation
Owners of exotic dance bar deny prostitution allegations
More Nebraskans are electing to vote early
A day after Ricketts endorsement, Ted Cruz backs Sasse for Senate
TD Ameritrade says profit up 35 percent in second quarter
Some city streets remain closed
Nebraska's U.S. Senate candidates stick to familiar topics at Omaha forum
19-year-old killed in one-vehicle crash at 72nd & Shirley
8% of alcohol sellers checked in Omaha area last week sold booze to minors
OPS bus, SUV collide; no students onboard at the time
Lori Jenkins, charged as accessory in 4 murders, waives speedy trial
Iowa State servers hacked, nearly 30,000 SSNs at risk
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Kelly: Started at a dining room table, Home Instead thriving at 20 with $1B in annual revenue
The idea that Paul Hogan had studied and then hatched at his mother's table was that older people, rather than moving in with relatives or to an assisted-living center, would much prefer to stay home instead.
Breaking Brad: Nebraska GOP candidates unified against naked squirrels
Some of these Nebraska campaigns are tilting pretty far right. At a recent forum, there was a consensus that we need to ban public dancing and clothe naked squirrels in public parks.
Breaking Brad: Inside the mind of a 99-year-old real estate agent
I saw an article about a 99-year-old real estate agent who's still working. “This house is extra special. It has indoor toilets!”
Breaking Brad: Into the claw machine! Florida kid follows Lincoln kid's lead
In Fort Lauderdale, Fla., a child climbed inside a claw machine. Hey, Florida kid: Nobody likes a copycat.
Breaking Brad: Even Chuck Hassebrook's throwing mud!
The Nebraska campaigns have turned so ugly, Democrat Chuck Hassebrook lobbed unfounded accusations at an imaginary opponent.
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