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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Retiring Sen. Ben Nelson said he wants to climb Mount Kilimanjaro in Africa. Deb Fischer's family said, “Not so fast, Nelson. We own that.”
* Actually, climbing Mount Kilimanjaro is a lot easier than trying to compromise with Republicans.
* It won't be that daunting. All Nelson has to do is climb halfway up Kilimanjaro and his hair will have reached the summit.
* In his farewell address to the Senate, Nelson was followed at the podium by Nebraska's junior senator, Mike Johanns. I'd report what Johanns said, but as always everybody nodded off eight seconds after he began talking.
* Barbara Walters asked New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie if he was too heavy to be president. He called the question ridiculous. He's right. That's absurd. Everybody knows voters select the president based solely on height.
* The people on Barbara Walters' 10 Most Fascinating People of 2012 list included Gen. David Petraeus, Ben Affleck, Prince Harry and Honey Boo Boo. Nobody can claim this list isn't eclectic.
* Barbara Walters' most fascinating people list included Prince Harry and Honey Boo Boo. One is from an embarrassing family known for doing the wrong thing and avoiding work. And then there's Honey Boo Boo.
* On the news, I saw a commentator ranting about the end of the world, a pandemic of horrific proportions that would destroy life as we know it. It was one of CNBC's more moderate reporters on the fiscal cliff.
* The White House is now on Pinterest, where users post recipes and craft photos. This means we're more likely to see a cherry cobbler recipe from the White House before the year of the year than a workable fiscal-cliff plan.
* President Obama held a conference call with U.S. mayors to try and sell his fiscal-cliff plan. As soon as he talks to the governor of Montana and the secretary of state of Brazil, Obama will have discussed his plan with every official in the world except members in Congress.
* President Obama is ready to sit down in a room and discuss the fiscal cliff. And that room is the set of “The View.”
* A 55-year-old bottle of rare whiskey is about to be auctioned off. For Democrats in Congress, I'm afraid this takes precedence over solving the fiscal cliff.
* John McCain recently lashed out at a reporter, saying, “That's one of the dumbest questions I've ever heard.” Considering questions during our last campaign included, “Who is Meat Loaf supporting?” that is saying something.
* The city of Omaha is now running the Knolls golf course. This will be the first golf course with a bogey tax.