* * * * * * * * * *
Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* An amazing meteor shower will be at its peak on Thursday and Friday nights. Mother Nature does have a plan. She gets the meteor shower out of the way before college bowl season begins on Saturday.
* Millions of jaded Americans said they'd watch the meteor shower, but that'd mean missing “The Voice” highlights show.
* The international community has unanimously condemned it. Of course I'm talking about Lindsay Lohan's performance in “Liz and Dick.”
* I wouldn't be too alarmed by the satellite North Korea launched into orbit. At last report, it was traveling at a slower speed than Ndamukong Suh's car.
* North Korea is claiming the object it just launched into orbit is a weather satellite. Yes, and those 4 million armed men in uniform marching are training to be mall cops.
* North Korea claims it launched a weather satellite. Weathercasts in North Korea are a little different. The people are told that every day is sunny and 72 degrees.
* North Korea wants to be able to predict weather as well as the West. Talk about setting the bar low.
* This is said to be more successful than North Korea's last missile launch. Which is a little like saying that Gilligan's next voyage will be better than his last.
* On the “most fascinating people of 2012" special that aired Wednesday night, Hillary Clinton told Barbara Walters she doesn't believe she'll run for president again. You know how things go with the Clintons. This means Hillary will have filed papers to run for president by Monday.
* Barbara Walters revealed that her most fascinating person of 2012 is Gen. David Petraeus. Apparently you get points for adultery.
* A man in the former Soviet republic of Georgia pulled a truck with his ear. Because it's Georgia, we are unsure if it was a feat by a strongman or this is their AAA.
* According to ABC, an investigation of airline food revealed numerous roaches and gnats. To make matters worse, even the gnats were complaining about the lack of leg room in coach.
* A man in China spent his family's life savings on an ark to survive the Dec. 21 apocalypse. Oh, to be a fly on the wall when he has that discussion with his wife on Dec. 22.
* At an Omaha Lancers home game, fans were encouraged to toss stuffed animals onto the ice to be donated to charities. Would the charitable organization that received the live octopus please return it? It was not part of the donation.