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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* The Nebraska Medical Center skating rink opens on Tuesday. I'm assuming the rink caters to adults since it was built next to a medical center.
* This is when you know your kids don't have faith in your skating ability. “Mom, Dad, let's go to that other skating rink. The one next to the medical center, just in case.”
* The list of candidates to be new OPS superintendent has been whittled down to 68. With 68 remaining competitors, this is like the beginning of the NCAA basketball tournament.
* A new “Star Wars” movie is coming. This one takes place so far in the future that the Big Ten Conference has 114 members.
* Americans spent so much on Black Friday and Cyber Monday that they will be followed by Broke Tuesday, Walletless Wednesday, Tight Thursday and Frugal Friday.
* There is a new, national movement to save Twinkies. Whales and rain forests are dealing with inferiority complexes after realizing that the move to save them is smaller than the movement in save Twinkies.
* After mediation talks broke down, Hostess is proceeding with plans to liquidate. Forget the Mayan calendar. For most Americans, this is doomsday.
* This is the time of year thoughts turn to that jolly man who makes lots of promises and delivers many gifts – President Obama.
* The Oregon State basketball team joined the Obamas for Thanksgiving dinner. The team's coach is Michelle Obama's brother. That's quite a recruiting weapon. “We won't win any national titles, but you get to have Thanksgiving with the president.”
* The Powerball jackpot has reached a record $425 million. OK, Omaha, here's your chance to pay for part of the sewer overhaul.
* To give you an idea how desperate they are, half the people waiting to buy Powerball tickets are executives at the U.S. Postal Service.
* Let's hope somebody wins the jackpot before Dec. 31. After Obama's taxes on the wealthy kick in next year, the lucky winner of the $425 million lottery will be taking home $32,000.
* The Federal Trade Commission is offering $50,000 to any citizen who can figure out how to stop robocalls. Here's a pretty good indication the FTC has no faith in the incoming Congress – it offers the people a bounty to solve our problems.
* The Philadelphia Eagles just lost their seventh game in a row. Which means the boo birds are out. Actually, because it's Philadelphia, the boo birds have been out since the opening coin flip of the first game.