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Brad's morning edition.
* “A Christmas Carol” has opened at the Omaha Community Playhouse. As usual, Scrooge is played by a member of the OPPD board.
* The international bribery probe of Walmart is expanding. Fortunately that'll all be knocked off the front page come Friday when you have Walmart customers using pepper spray to get to the toaster ovens.
* Walmart is opening for Black Friday at 8 p.m. on Thanksgiving. This means Americans gathered outside Walmart will bust down the doors around 7:30 with one huge, collective belch.
* For Thanksgiving dinner at my house we'll be eating Twinkies. Sure, you'll still be able to buy turkey and stuffing in the stores next year.
* Omaha Mayor Jim Suttle said that complaints about road conditions in town have declined. That's probably because there are so many streets closed for construction it's impossible for us to get to our homes to email in our complaints. We're all living in tents.
* Over the weekend a rare, snowy owl was spotted outside the CenturyLink during a dog show. In a related story, if anyone has seen 15 Weimaraners wearing blue or yellow ribbons who were last observed running and barking near Norfolk, please call authorities.
* President Obama presented John Boehner with a bottle of 1997 vintage wine for Boehner's 63rd birthday on Saturday. You know Washington nowadays. Obama planned to tack the $208 cost of the wine on to what he'll need from Republicans in fiscal cliff negotiations.
* President Obama gave John Boehner a “pricey” bottle of wine for Boehner's birthday. Considering the financial condition of this country instead Obama should've presented him with a snow globe from Obama's campaign trip to Dubuque.
* A nonprofit group is warning that President Obama's visit to Myanmar this week could cause unrest. To make matters worse, the nonprofit group is General Motors.
* The trip is off to a bad start. A Secret Service agent was seen boarding the plane with a “Guide to Myanmar Brothels” book under his arm.
* President Obama is visiting Thailand for a few hours as a gesture of friendship. Now that's a true friend. Someone who comes Thanksgiving week and only stays a few hours.
* On his trip abroad Obama will be visiting some unstable countries that in recent times have seen leaders overthrown. I believe he's there asking advice on how to get rid of Nancy Pelosi.
* According to CNN.com, President Obama made a joke to a monk in Thailand. If Obama thinks that White House Correspondent's Dinner audience was a tough crowd...
* At the end of his concert Thursday night Bruce Springsteen said: “Thank you, Nebraska. We love you.” This is the first acknowledgment by anyone connected to the Obama campaign that our state exists.
* Joe Biden just made his acting debut on “Parks and Recreation.” Did we already solve the fiscal cliff?
* Vice President Joe Biden just made his comedic acting debut. I could've sworn that happened midway through the campaign.
* Biden was doing research. “Parks and Recreation” is the only show the Obamas have never appeared on.
* President Obama was photographed doing the arms folded “I'm not impressed look” with U.S. gymnast McKayla Maroney. Look for Obama to adopt this same position whenever Republicans are trying to negotiate the fiscal cliff.
* There is a new Steven Spielberg movie called “Lincoln.” Some critics say Lincoln virtually comes to life. Good, let's have him solve the fiscal crisis. I have a lot more confidence in a half alive Lincoln than Obama, Boehner, Reid, Pelosi and McConnell.
* House Speaker John Boehner said he is the most reasonable, responsible person in Washington. That's a little like being the smart guy in “Dumb and Dumber.”