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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* The solar eclipse on Tuesday was best viewed from Australia. Unfortunately for Australia, all the tourists in the world are busy flocking to France for doomsday and to Colorado for the legal pot.
* Bruce Springsteen performs at the CenturyLink Center on Thursday night. Bruce is known for his long shows. Statistically, Omaha will probably have a different police chief and OPS a new superintendent when Springsteen finishes his concert.
* Fingers crossed that the Springsteen concert will be over in time for Creighton's next home basketball game on Sunday.
* Saturday night, Springsteen performs in Kansas City, where he's expected to open the concert with a stark, depressing number about the downtrodden – the Kansas City Chiefs fight song.
* State Sen. Mike Flood announced he is running for governor of Nebraska in 2014. If he can accomplish half as much as governor as the Legislature has – well, I guess that won't be very impressive at all.
* I'm not sure Nebraska is ready for a governor from an elected body that had trouble reaching a consensus on humans devouring horse meat.
* OPPD has proposed a 6.9 percent rate increase. There are now three things in life that are certain. Death, taxes and annual OPPD rate increases.
* The OPPD board is scheduled to vote on the increase Dec. 13. I wonder how the board will vote; the suspense is killing me.
* OPPD board votes are slightly easier to predict than when a president of North Korea is running for re-election.
* We just experienced a hurricane and a bad nor'easter, and Congress has returned to Washington. Proof that disasters occur in groups of three.
* According to a new study, the number of unemployed adults living with their parents has doubled since 2007. Had he known that during the campaign, the president could have used the slogan: “Barack Obama: Bringing Families Together.”
* Mitt Romney's Facebook page has been losing friends at the rate of up to 847 per hour. What is really insulting is that many are gravitating to the Mike Dukakis page.
* In Orange County, Fla., a dead man was elected tax collector. This is when you know it takes Florida a long time to count ballots. By the time workers finish, the candidates are dead.
* I feel sorry for his opponent. What does that say for your political career when you lose to a candidate who is deceased?
* Berkshire-Hathaway is buying the Oriental Trading Co. Now that Oriental Trading Co. is under the Berkshire banner, look for little novelty soaps to outsell General Motors cars.
* UNL Math Day is on Thursday. Per tradition, the winning team will be the one that successfully adds up all the UNL tuition increases.
* The New York Islanders are moving to Brooklyn into an arena that is not configured for hockey. To make it hockey-ready, the lower seats are being raised so fans can pour beer on opposing players.