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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Nancy Pelosi has a new, super-short hairdo. She looks like a really angry Miley Cyrus.
* According to the new employment report, 162,000 jobs were created in September, more than expected. Unfortunately for President Obama, 125,000 of those jobs were for spin doctors to tweak Joe Biden statements.
* The Omaha City Council has approved a controversial tax on tobacco products. The current council is going in alphabetical order in implementing new taxes and is up to the T's.
* According to a CNN phone poll, the presidential race is basically tied. We don't know why. Whenever anyone said they were voting for Mitt Romney, CNN hung up on them.
* In keeping with the theme of the campaign, each presidential debate officially begins when a candidate throws out the first blatantly ridiculous falsehood.
* The moderator for Wednesday's debate is Jim Lehrer from the PBS show “NewsHour.” In an attempt to get more Americans to watch, they should have gone with Bob Saget or Carmen Electra.
* Reportedly, Romney may be preparing a “package of zingers” for the three debates. Considering Romney's command of current pop culture, I'm guessing that half of them begin: “Up your nose with a rubber hose.”
* For the debates, Mitt Romney reportedly has a lot of “zingers” prepared, as does President Obama. It's just as well the candidates stand or we could see the first presidential debate whoopee cushion.
* The presidential debates are supposed to answer the most pressing foreign policy questions of Americans. Let's hope not. Many of the most pressing foreign policy questions of Americans have to do with the looming worldwide bacon shortage.
* NSYNC's Joey Fatone has been voted off “Dancing with the Stars.” If only it was that easy back in the day. Any time NSYNC appeared on TV, we'd pick up a phone and vote, and they'd disappear.
* During the NHL lockout, several players plan to play in Europe. Which will be enlightening for the Europeans who have never seen anyone with teeth worse than theirs.
* Some say the NHL lockout could last a full year. It still isn't the end of the world, unless, of course, you're Canadian.