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Brad's afternoon edition
Click here to read the morning edition.
* The newly discovered planet at the edge of the galaxy, Gliese 163c, may be capable of sustaining life. A few minutes after this was announced, Mitt Romney opened a bank account there.
* Thirty Republican members of the Senate took to the floor to discuss the failed leadership of the Obama administration. And if there's anybody qualified to talk about failed leadership, it's members of the current Congress.
* I read that Al Gore once considered becoming a minister. You think gay marriage is controversial – if Gore was a minister, we could see two trees legally married.
* NFL referees overwhelmingly approved a new contract by a vote of 112 -5. When I saw a vote of 112-5, I assumed it was early results for President Obama and Mitt Romney in Ohio.
* In Melbeta, Neb., a town of 112 in the Panhandle, a man was arrested for allegedly rubbing a sandwich in his wife's face. Good news: This should put Melbeta on the map. Bad news: It's now known as the-sandwich-rubbed-in-your-face place.
* An Oklahoma judge performed a marriage ceremony for a man and his girlfriend moments after sentencing the man to four years in jail on a firearms charge. This is when you know the bride is no winner – she's apparently part of the guy's sentence.
* Levi Johnston just became a father again. At this point he's only able to eat, poop and burp. I'm talking about Levi.
* According to a new study from Oxford University, apes enjoy dumb humor. I always wondered who Hallmark greeting cards were designed for. Now I know – apes.
* Lindsay Lohan stars in a new Lifetime movie. It was bad enough that Lindsay had to go to jail, but now she's been sentenced to Lifetime.
* Washington Redskins long snapper Nick Sundberg is a human crash-test dummy at a taser company. Who says NFL players are unable to segue into successful business careers?
* If anyone with NFL ties became a crash-test dummy, I always assumed it'd be Terry Bradshaw.
* Charlie Sheen suited up and took batting practice with the Cincinnati Reds. Now Yogi Berra is only the second most incoherent man to ever don a baseball uniform.