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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* A group from our sister state in China has been visiting eastern Nebraska. The visitors plan to return home and tell their countrymen that the streets of the U.S. are paved with gold. Police chiefs who hold the job for months leave with rich pensions and public school officials get $1 million retirement packages, while members of the Omaha mayor's staff are paid in silver.
* I thought I was watching footage of a drag racer going 200 mph before a parachute opened to stop the car. It turned out to be Trev Alberts driving to Lincoln to apply for the athletic director opening.
* Tom Osborne is retiring as Nebraska athletic director. Saturday's game ought to be something. Bo Pelini can finally release all those four-syllable curse words he's been holding in for five years.
* Supposedly, the search for a new AD is wide open and no one has been ruled out. Although I'm reasonably sure an attempt will not be made to lure Steve Pederson away from Pittsburgh.
* President Obama spoke out and indirectly intervened in the NFL referee lockout. Hey, maybe this means NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell can come up with a jobs plan.
* The replacement ref who made the call at the end of Monday Night Football has been identified as a banker from California. Is there anything that goes wrong in this country that can't be traced back to a bank?
* Things have not been going well for Mitt Romney. On his latest tour of Ohio, the bus was named “The Damage Control Express.”
* Due to inclement weather, Air Force One was forced to abort a landing in Ohio. Ohio is such a key swing state that President Obama parachuted into Toledo.
* After the plane safely landed, Obama blamed the inclement weather on the George W. Bush administration.
* Here's an amazing statistic: The Obamas have made more appearances on “The View” in the past two years than Barbara Walters.
* Mitt Romney just completed a tour of Ohio. The only way the past two weeks could have gone worse for Romney is if Amanda Bynes was driving the bus.
* Things have been going so bad for the Romney campaign that now Romney is trying to get his unreleased tax returns back in the news.
* Joe Biden has been boasting that he's visited all 99 counties in Iowa. We are not being ignored. He's flown over Nebraska 26 times.
* Forbes magazine has released its annual list of the 400 wealthiest Americans. Mitt Romney referred to Nos. 300 through 400 as “middle class.”
* Actually, Romney classified the last 25 names on the Forbes list as the “working poor.”
* A British teenager launched a homemade spacecraft and took stunning pictures of earth. All of a sudden my science project where I colored a moth ball purple seems even lamer.
* A quick programming note: Due to the Huskers' alternate uniforms, Saturday's game with Wisconsin will air on the Syfy schannel.
* Texans' quarterback Matt Schaub left the game for one play after losing a small piece of his ear after a hard hit. This shows how rough the NFL has gotten. It used to be that if you saw a group of athletes on hands and knees, they were looking for a lost contact lens. Now, they're searching for an ear.
* The Dallas Cowboys are the most valuable NFL team with a worth of $2.1 billion. And that's just the scoreboard.