Breaking Brad: World's shortest man, woman meet - Omaha.com
Published Monday, September 24, 2012 at 1:30 pm / Updated at 6:52 am
Breaking Brad: World's shortest man, woman meet

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition

Click here to read the morning edition.

* On Sunday, ABC aired a three-hour show live from a nudist colony – wait, that was the 64th Primetime Emmy Awards.

* The Emmys are sort of like the Democratic National Convention, only with more liberal acceptance speeches.

* On Sunday, the Tea Party Express bus rolled through Omaha. It didn't actually stop. It slowed, the people on board saw what taxes are in Omaha, and the bus was last seen speeding out of town at 170 mph.

* On the news I saw a happy lottery winner holding up his 5-by-8 check. Wait, my mistake. That was former OPS superintendent John Mackiel with the first installment of his retirement pay.

* The Omaha ice cream shop eCreamery was featured on the ABC show “Shark Tank.” It's been quite a week for Omahans on TV, what with Mackiel's appearance on “Cribs.”

* Sawtoothed grain beetles were discovered in soup that was to be served to elementary school students in Papillion-La Vista schools. Nobody has a right to complain. If you check the school lunch schedule, it clearly states, “Tuesdays: sawtoothed grain beetles.”

* The world's shortest man and the world's shortest woman just met for the first time. He is 72, and she is 18. It looked like the weirdest Ak-Sar-Ben king and queen coronation yet.

* The world's shortest man is 21.5 inches; the world's shortest woman is 24.7 inches. I'm trying to confirm that after the meeting he was overheard saying, “Oh, great. Now I'm never going to meet a woman shorter than me.”

* After New England's loss to the Ravens on Sunday, a furious Bill Belichick grabbed a replacement ref and berated him. Well, the commissioner did say he wanted coaches to treat the replacements just like they do the regular refs.

* Belichick was screaming at the ref. I haven't seen anything like that since the last time Jay Cutler communicated with a teammate.

* On Sunday, the Texans' QB Matt Schaub took a vicious hit that knocked off a piece of his ear. He returned to the game one play later. Here's what needs to happen: The All-Madden Team must be brought back immediately so Schaub can be named captain for eternity.

* Denver Broncos fans are complaining that overhead pigeons are relieving themselves on the fans. That's the fans' perspective. The pigeons are complaining about a bunch of intoxicated, shirtless fat guys with strange lettering on their chests below them.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

Cause of Omaha power outage along Regency Parkway unclear
Easter Sunday temperatures climb into 80s in Omaha area
Omaha police investigate two nonfatal shootings
City Council to vote on adding Bluffs pedestrian safety lights
Sole big donor to Beau McCoy says he expects nothing in return
Convicted killer Nikko Jenkins might await his sentence in prison
Kelly: 70 years after a deadly D-Day rehearsal, Omahan, WWII vet will return to Europe
Midlands runners ready for Boston Marathon
Families from area shelters treated to meal at Old Chicago
Firefighters battle brush fire near Fontenelle Forest
Sioux City riverboat casino prepares to close, still hoping to be saved
Omaha high schoolers to help canvass for Heartland 2050
Mizzou alumni aim to attract veterinary students to Henry Doorly Zoo
Grant ensures that Sioux City can start building children's museum
Party looks to 'nudge' women into public office in Iowa
For birthday, Brownell-Talbot student opts to give, not get
Two taken to hospital after fire at Benson home
Grace: Pipe organ concert a tribute to couple's enduring love
Omaha-area jails and ERs new front line in battling mental illness
Civil rights hearing to consider voting policies in Midwest
17 senators in Nebraska Legislature hit their (term) limits
It's a pursuit of pastel at Spring Lake Park's Easter egg hunt
Financial picture improving for city-owned Mid-America Center
No injuries after fire at midtown's old Mercer Mansion
29-year-old Omahan arrested for 22nd time in Lincoln
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