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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Rex Burkhead is scheduled to return during Saturday's game with Idaho State. Coaches are going to work Burkhead back in slowly, so he'll be limited to only 45 carries.
* Hurricane Isaac is being blamed for a jump in those who apply for jobless benefits. This sounds slightly more plausible than the Democrats' original plan to blame the jobless increase on sun spots.
* Breaking news: A likely first-round NBA draft pick told his agent he wants “Mackiel money.”
* The stipulations for the presidential debates were just announced. It's been such a mean-spirited campaign that these are the first debates with a standing eight count and three knockdown rules.
* Author Michael Lewis has been given unprecedented access to President Obama for a piece in Vanity Fair's October issue. Joe Biden asked him, “What's Obama like?”
* Some Republicans are claiming that Mitt Romney doesn't seem engaged in the campaign. There may be something to that. Romney's last three speeches ended with him going, “Yadda yadda yadda.”
* Ahead of Ann Romney's visit Friday, the Secret Service did a sweep of Papillion-La Vista and removed all the bugs from the soup.
* Mitt Romney just campaigned in Colorado, where he promised that if elected he'd rush emergency disaster relief to the University of Colorado football team.
* Actor Chuck Norris said that if President Obama is re-elected, we can look forward to 1,000 years of darkness. If he really wanted to scare Americans, he should've said we can look forward to 1,000 years of Chuck Norris movies.
* And compared with speakers at the Republican National Convention, Norris sounds like an optimist.
* Ironically, in 1,000 years, the U.S. Congress will be debating the same issues it is today.
* A Florida representative failed to show up for a scheduled debate. Deb Fischer said, “You can do that?”
* This weekend, the Omaha Marathon takes place. The winner is expected to cover 26.2 miles in around 2 hours, 20 minutes. With all the road construction in Omaha you can't drive 26.2 miles in that time.
* Texas Tech basketball coach Billy Gillispie has resigned. I think even the KFAB late-night psychic could have called this one.