* * * * * * * * * *
Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* The Obama White House has made its homemade beer recipe public. Congressional Democrats are more excited about this than if Mitt Romney had released his tax returns.
* Paul Ryan just spoke of an unnecessary, gratuitous entitlement program that could bring down this great country. He was talking about the White House Easter Egg Roll.
* Joe Biden has made so many mistakes and outrageous statements on the campaign trail that he has a new Secret Service code name – Honey Boo Boo.
* It's reported that President Obama once told Democrats: We're the Miami Heat; Mitt Romney is Jeremy Lin. Remember when our candidates used to be compared to Dwight Eisenhower?
* Mitt Romney compared President Obama to a coach whose record is 0 and 23 million. The former coach of the Charlotte Bobcats said, “Leave me out of this.”
* Sarah Palin has seemingly been barred from Fox News. The good news: You can still see her on the other 263 networks featuring a Palin family reality show.
* In Hawaii, a “homeless handyman” is running for U.S. Congress. If you've followed the current Congress for the past few years, I know what you're thinking about the homeless handyman: overqualified.
* This will work out great. If the handyman is elected, he can perform routine tasks in the House of Representatives. Instead of relying on the 11 congressmen it currently takes to screw in a light bulb, he can do it.
* According to a survey, Wyoming leads the nation in per capita purchases of sex toys. I'm guessing we'll never see this on the Wyoming license plates.
* Olympic sprint champion Usain Bolt announced he's going to disappear and drop completely off the face of the earth. That's right, he's trying professional soccer.