Breaking Brad: 'Rahm Emanuel Likes Nickelback' - Omaha.com
Published Thursday, September 13, 2012 at 1:30 pm / Updated at 12:27 pm
Breaking Brad: 'Rahm Emanuel Likes Nickelback'

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition

Click here to read the morning edition.

* Monica Lewinsky is shopping a tell-all book. Republicans said if they had known Lewinsky was interested in telling her story, she could have been the keynote speaker at their convention.

* A man in Tennessee called 911 to ask for a ride to the store to buy beer. Actually, it's OK. In Tennessee not having a ride to get beer is considered an emergency.

* Seen at a gathering of striking Chicago teachers: a protest sign reading “(Chicago mayor) Rahm Emanuel Likes Nickelback.” I expected the strike to get ugly, but I didn't realize either side would stoop to this level.

* That “rotten egg smell” that washed over Southern California has been identified. Apparently, NBC just rolled out its new fall schedule.

* A prominent Omaha DUI attorney allegedly crashed into a vehicle at 19th and Douglas Streets and took off running. He was chased and tackled by a motorist who saw the accident. First thing this morning, John Papuchis called the guy who made the tackle to ask if he'd like to start on Saturday.

* Apple just introduced its iPhone 5. The new iPhone is a similar to the Mars rover Curiosity, only with a more advanced design.

* The Tooth Fairy is now leaving kids an average of $3 under their pillows, up 15 percent from last year. When you look at the measly interest rates paid by banks, instead of opening a certificate of deposit, you're better off losing a tooth.

* JetBlue Airways is reducing the amount of leg room on some flights. JetBlue is doing this to appeal to its main customers – contortionists.

* In November, for the first time a UFC event will be held in China. So far the pay-per-view sales are a little slow – only 1.1 billion buys.

* Everyone is excited about the UFC coming to China, except for the UFC ring girls, who should be released from prison in 2030 for wearing those outfits in public.

* The Iowa offensive coordinator has been nominated for a Nobel Prize in Medicine. His game plan for Iowa State is considered the first natural cure for insomnia.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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