The presidential nominating conventions are over! Really. So. Over. Let’s see if you were paying attention.
I. Republican Multiple Choice
>> 1. Shortly before the Republican convention opened, a new book quoted Mitt Romney as comparing the Tea Party to:
(A) A hamster in a cage.
(B) A dog on a car roof.
(C) A ferret in a dishwasher.
(D) A cat up a tree.
>> 2. In a radio interview before the convention, Paul Ryan claimed he had once run a marathon in under three hours. In reality, Ryan’s best and only time was just over four hours in the:
(A) Boston Marathon.
(B) Run Crazy Horse in South Dakota.
(C) Frankenthon Monster Marathon in Cedar Park, Texas.
(D) Grandma’s Marathon in Duluth.
>> 3. Because of the hurricane, Republicans had to skip the first day of the convention. As a result, they canceled the Donald Trump “surprise.” Published reports speculated that the surprise was going to be:
(A) Trump attempting to fire a President Barack Obama impersonator.
(B) Trump wandering through the convention center, demanding that delegates produce their birth certificates.
(C) Trump spending quality time with Clint Eastwood’s hairstylist.
(D) Trump challenging Paul Ryan to a long-distance race.
>> 4. In response to Clint Eastwood’s speech:
(A) Ann Romney called it “unique.”
(B) Obama invited Clint to the White House for a reconciliation beer.
(C) Ann Romney called it “better than Tim Pawlenty’s.”
(D) Eastwood was offered a cameo role in “The Expendables 3.”
II. Match the failed Republican presidential candidate with his convention role:
(1) Newt Gingrich
(2) Tim Pawlenty
(3) Rick Santorum
(4) Ron Paul
(5) Rick Perry
(6) Jon Huntsman
(A) Got a four-minute film tribute, then refused to endorse Romney.
(B) Never showed up.
(C) Gave a speech about Ronald Reagan with his wife reading every other sentence.
(D) Told Chuck Todd of NBC News that he would “absolutely” consider another presidential race in 2016.
(E) Gave a speech comparing Obama to “a big tattoo” and “that guy on the Bizarre Foods show.”
(F) Speech mentioned “hands” 21 times, “Romney” three.
III: Democratic Multiple Choice:
>> 1. During the convention, Democrats had two platform controversies, one about Jerusalem, and one about whether to mention:
(A) All of the Founding Fathers by name.
(D) Romney’s car elevator.
>> 2. Which of the following is not true about the keynote speaker, San Antonio Mayor Julian Castro:
(A) Has a twin brother who’s running for Congress.
(B) Political activist mom once called the defenders of the Alamo “a bunch of drunks and crooks and slaveholding imperialists.”
(C) Youngest mayor of a major U.S. city.
(D) Once ran a marathon in under two hours.
>> 3. Addressing the Democratic delegates, Scarlett Johansson urged young people to vote and also:
(A) Berated an empty chair she said was filled with Romney.
(B) Reminisced about her humble roots.
(C) Bragged about the number of push-ups she does in her morning workout.
(D) Expressed regret that more people did not go to see “We Bought a Zoo.”
>> 4. Besides the usual assortment of mayors, governors, beleaguered workers, successful immigrants and former Republicans, the Democratic convention also featured a speech by a:
(A) Dog who claimed to be a descendant of Romney’s beleaguered Irish setter.
(C) Parade of swing-state moms.
(D) Mormon who wasn’t Harry Reid.
IV. Match the Democrats with his or her convention achievement:
(1) Barack Obama
(2) Joe Biden
(3) Bill Clinton
(4) Michelle Obama
(5) Harry Reid
(6) John Kerry
(A) Used the word “literally” 10 times in his speech.
(B) Demanded that Romney show us his tax returns.
(C) Made a convention promotion video with Harold and Kumar.
(D) Prepared remarks: about 3,200 words. Actual remarks: about 5,500 words.
(E) Stunned the world by exhibiting a sense of humor.
(F) Failed to mention that Osama bin Laden is dead.
Answers: I: 1-C, 2-D, 3-A, 4-A
II: 1-C, 2-E, 3-F, 4-A, 5-D, 6-B
III: 1-B, 2-D, 3-B, 4-B
IV: 1-C, 2-A, 3-D, 4-F, 5-B, 6-E
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