Breaking Brad: Babies may have moral compass - Omaha.com
Published Thursday, September 6, 2012 at 1:30 pm / Updated at 7:02 am
Breaking Brad: Babies may have moral compass

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition

Click here to read the morning edition.

* I wouldn't say CNN commentators were excited about Bill Clinton's speech Wednesday night, but Wolf Blitzer was seen carrying Clinton out of the arena on his shoulders.

* Sean Hannity is inside the arena covering the convention. Well, it's just nice to see one unbiased reporter in the house.

* President Obama's Thursday night speech was moved indoors, a joint decision made by weathercasters and politicians. A collaboration of the two least reliable groups in the world – what could go wrong there?

* To prove how important Iowa is to the president's re-election chances, when Obama gives his speech Thursday night, the Iowa delegation will be seated beside him on the podium.

* The 2012 NFL season kicked off Wednesday night. It's just as well that there are replacement referees. It would have been embarrassing for Ed Hochuli when his arms were actually less buff than Michelle Obama's the night before.

* Much of the buzz is still about Mrs. Obama's dress on Tuesday night. If the election were held tomorrow, the dress would defeat both Barack Obama and Mitt Romney by a 2-to-1 margin.

* The Republican party has unveiled a new national debt clock. This is why they can't come up with a solid economic plan – they spend all their time designing new and improved national debt clocks.

* Coach Bo Pelini said he doesn't pay attention to the polls. Jon Bruning immediately muttered, “Wise move.”

* Kelly Ripa formally introduced Michael Strahan as her new co-host on Tuesday. To prove our priorities are out of whack, the search for Ripa's co-host took twice as long as the one for Romney's running mate.

* According to a study, babies may have a moral compass. I say we let babies run for office and sell cars so there's someone in those professions with a moral compass.

* The Philadelphia Phillies just held "'90s Night.” That's when you know a team's fans have a reputation for drinking a lot – they need a special night to remember the '90s.

* Fifty-year-old Roger Clemens has returned to professional baseball, pitching for Sugar Land (Texas) Skeeters of the Atlantic League. I'm not sure which is more amazing – that a 50-year-old man is playing professional baseball, or that the Sugar Land (Texas) Skeeters are in the Atlantic League.

* I'm releasing my mock NFL draft. The first round is all Alabama starters. The second round all Alabama backups.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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