Breaking Brad: Romney could be forced to downgrade - Omaha.com
Published Wednesday, August 22, 2012 at 12:01 am / Updated at 11:51 am
Breaking Brad: Romney could be forced to downgrade

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's morning edition

* Council Bluffs is getting a new work of art along a Broadway Street viaduct – a 50-ton steel sculpture. You know what Bluffs officials call a 50-ton steel sculpture? “Understated.”

* It's gotten to the point where when you see a giant steel girder being transported, you're not sure if Rosenblatt Stadium is going down or some Council Bluffs art is going up.

* Council Bluffs consistently produces the only artwork capable of being seen from Jupiter by the naked eye.

* Officials waited until President Obama left town to erect the 50-ton steel work of art out of concern that if he saw it he'd declare the city a disaster area.

* Mitt Romney returned to Iowa on Wednesday. This after learning that he'd only visited an obscure hamlet in the corner of the state 14 times during the campaign.

* According to a new e-book, President Obama has disdain for Mitt Romney. Is this a revelation? I'm not sure what the “e” in e-book stands for, but we can rule out “eureka.”

* Romney has a new campaign slogan: “You can pry my tax returns from my cold, dead fingers.”

* Rush Limbaugh and rapper Ice-T are embroiled in a feud. Surely they can find common ground. ... Naw, nevermind.

* President Obama's new campaign ad is called “I believe.” Well, the full title is “I believe there's a campaign dollar somewhere I may have missed.”

* Let's face it: Mitt Romney is a wealthy man. His biggest adjustment if elected president? Getting used to a smaller plane – Air Force One.

* Todd Palin has landed a spot on a reality show. At this rate, in six months, Buffy the Palin cat will get a show.

* Joe Biden said he had to ask his wife five times to marry him. Mitt Romney said he's proud to say that Ann said yes immediately, right after Mitt's butler got down on one knee.

* Biden asked his wife five times to marry him. The only time he's heard “no” that often was when he asked Obama if he could sit behind the desk in the Oval Office.

* Cher criticized Madonna on Twitter. Speculation is that Cher thinks Madonna is fake. Which would carry more weight if Cher wasn't on nose No. 7.

* I saw an online article title: “10 Indications Your Marriage Is In Trouble.” No. 1: You find your spouse reading an article titled “10 Indications Your Marriage Is In Trouble."

* Tim Tebow had a rough night in the preseason game against the Giants. He was intercepted three times while warming up on the sidelines.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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