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Brad's afternoon edition
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* Hooker County in the Nebraska Sand Hills experienced a 2.7 magnitude earthquake Sunday night. Seismologists believe the quake was caused by the state moving to the right after Sarah Palin and Deb Fischer ate lunch together.
* After winning Olympic gold, one gymnast was high-fiveing, turning cartwheels and performing celebratory splits. Wait, my mistake – that was Freddie Gray after the OPS board voted to keep her.
* Table tennis and badminton are official Olympic sports. Ladies and gentlemen, we're about eight years away from seeing a gold medal awarded in lawn darts.
* As Olympic coverage continues, NBC viewers have been spotted running from their television sets screaming, “No! Please! No more synchronized diving!”
* The lineup of speakers for the four-day Republican National Convention has been set. There's talk of Dick Cheney going last, and criticizing every Republican who spoke before him.
* President Obama told Charlie Rose that Michelle would like to see more of India. I have a better idea. Send her back to Nebraska. It's much cheaper than visiting India, and people here have a vote in November.
* According to polls, women tend to favor President Obama for re-election while men favor Mitt Romney. There's a huge gender divide. This is the political version of a Three Stooges movie, in more ways than one.
* President Obama just campaigned in Oakland, Calif. To win over people in Oakland, Obama called for early parole for Raiders fans.
* In Kazakhstan, a circus tiger urinated on a group of wealthy patrons. Because it urinated on the wealthy, the circus tiger is in line for a position in President Obama's new cabinet.
* A company is coming out with a Lady Gaga doll. You pull the string and it sings a Madonna song.
* Kobe Bryant said the citizenship of Team USA should be revoked if the team doesn't win it all. This is one way to add some spice to that silver medal ceremony.
* The World Toe Wrestling Championships just ended. This looked like an Olympic event NBC would air for two hours in prime time.