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Brad's morning edition
* On Saturday, Sarah Palin was in the Omaha area to lunch with Deb Fischer. The two women have much in common. Palin is the former governor of Alaska, and Fischer’s ranch is the exact same size as Alaska.
* Palin and husband Todd then stopped by Cabela’s in La Vista, which features hunting and fishing equipment, dead animal trophies and camping gear. Or, as it’s sometimes called, “Bob Kerrey’s wife’s worst nightmare.”
* Kerrey’s campaign manager on the Fisher-Palin meeting: “Both are ill-prepared for higher office and would follow their Tea Party cohorts to radically cut Medicare and Social Security while protecting tax loopholes for their billionaire friends.” To which spokesmen for Fischer and Palin replied, “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
* I’m trying to confirm that seeing all the dead animal heads on the walls at Cabela’s made the Palins homesick.
* On Saturday, President Obama turned 51. Well, we think 51. In the absence of a credible birth certificate, no one is quite sure.
* Obama told his staff, “surprise me,” so they drew up some semblance of an economic plan.
* President Obama celebrated his 51st birthday with a small, private dinner, where his loved ones were charged $10,000 per plate.
* The Mars rover Curiosity has landed on Mars. In keeping with the Olympic gymnastics spirit, NASA officials said it stuck the landing.
* President Obama made the historic announcement that the Mars rover has landed. Then, with the election coming up, he reminded everybody that he got bin Laden.
* When the rover landed on Mars, Gov. Dave Heineman was already there with a delegation, to proclaim Mars Nebraska’s new “sister planet.”
* Clint Eastwood has endorsed Mitt Romney. Counting Dick Cheney, this means Romney has the support of two guys who go around saying, “Go ahead - make my day."
* According to the latest employment report, 163,000 jobs have been created. Unfortunately, 153,000 of those jobs are for Olympic beach volleyball commentators on NBC.
* I think NBC’s Olympic coverage is suspect. Going in to the Olympics, who knew we’d be seeing more of Ryan Seacrest than Ryan Lochte?
* Gymnastics all-around champion Gabby Douglas moved to Iowa to achieve victory. Now President Obama is thinking of doing same.
* Queen Elizabeth II’s granddaughter competed in the Olympic equestrian. Because she’s a member of the Royal Family, the competition was halted every time she began to sweat.
* The U.S. federal government is suing the makers of Buckyballs, the popular magnetic desk things, over product safety issues. You think it’s a blow to national pride to almost lose to Lithuania at basketball, imagine if the government loses to Buckyballs?
* In China, Gov. Dave Heineman made an agreement with a central China province to be Nebraska’s new sister state. Both places are curious. Nebraskans are intrigued with strange-to-us Chinese customs, and the Chinese are stunned by a state containing a city that spends all its money on a sewer upgrade.
* In Saratoga, New York, a fan in his twenties who was trying to sneak into a Nickelback concert fell 40 feet into a gorge and suffered only minor injuries. That’s amazing. I mean, just the part about there being a Nickelback fan.
* After falling, he was howling and cursing - wait, that was the lead singer “performing.”
* A man in Australia was hospitalized after lighting off fireworks in his buttocks. By my estimate, after this incident, the Australian Olympic team must win 35 gold medals to restore any semblance of national pride.