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Brad's morning edition
* A new bike lane just opened on Leavenworth Street. With all the water main breaks in Omaha, there are plans for a new lane on Cuming Street exclusively for airboaters.
* Gov. Dave Heineman made an agreement with a central China province to be Nebraska's new sister state. As our new sister, in the name of the family unity I call on this central China province to foot half the bill for Omaha's sewer overhaul.
* As part of the agreement, a group of Chinese third-graders may visit Nebraska. Here they'll be teaching 12th grade.
* Eight Olympic badminton players were expelled for throwing matches. No word if there's an investigation for point shaving after the U.S. men's basketball team beat Tunisia by only 47.
* The expelled athletes could face extremely harsh sentences, including having to watch 20 hours of doubles badminton.
* I don't know much about doubles badminton, but I'm pretty sure it's not played from futons.
* Because of the world economic situation, instead of golds, silver and bronze, athletes are competing for platinum, copper and cubic zirconia.
* After the Team USA men's basketball team defeated France, Michelle Obama hugged each member of the team. Well, she hugged all the ones from swing states.
* Doubts are creeping in about that star 16-year-old Chinese swimmer who's breaking all the records. Today she underwent a routine physical and doctors found a blowhole.
* NBC is facing a backlash over all the tape delays. An NBC executive just delivered a response that the network will air Aug. 29.
* The Olympic mascots have one eye in the center of their heads. They look like Teletubbies who were caught in a nuclear meltdown.
* A new survey lists the "Most Beautiful People on Capitol Hill." Because there's not enough petty jealousy on Capitol Hill.
* President Obama submitted his nomination for the most beautiful person on Capitol Hill. It's a 5-foot-tall, 325-pound bald man holding a large campaign donation check.
* Thousands of people around the country have rallied in support of Chick-fil-A. It's difficult to determine if the 800 chanting people storming an Omaha Chick-fil-A were making a political point or just the normal lunchtime crowd.
* The mayor of London was stuck dangling from a zip line. This was still less embarrassing than anything that happened on Mitt Romney's overseas trip.
* Dennis Rodman has written a children's book. I believe it's called "Billy's First Nipple Ring."
* A minor league baseball umpire kicked the PA guy out of the game for playing "Three blind mice." That's a good start. Now we need a rule expelling any baseball stadium PA guy who plays "Call me maybe" more than twice in any game.
* Cincinnati Bengals coach Marvin Lewis signed a two-year contract extension. This will take him through the next 47 arrests of Bengals players.