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Brad's morning edition
* An archery tournament was just held at Cabela's in La Vista. The highlight occurred when Deb Fischer showed up and dropped a cougar from 400 yards.
* As of mid-August, Greyhound will no longer offer service to Omaha. Note to the Greater Omaha Chamber of Commerce: When it comes to choosing a new city slogan to convey the message that Omaha is vibrant and happening, I'd pass on, “Not Good Enough for Greyhound.”
* Greyhound officials did not give a reason for leaving, but it's thought the company is jealous because most of the vehicles parked in our compact spaces are larger than their buses.
* NBC is offering over 5,500 hours of Olympics coverage. And it'll still be on TV less than the Kardashians.
* Two Olympic doubles badminton teams – from China and South Korea – were booed after they appeared to be trying to lose. Now NBC is televising sports so boring the athletes can't even stand ‘em.
* The Olympic doubles badminton teams appeared to not be trying. To cover the match, NBC brought in expert commentator Albert Haynesworth.
* The teams supposedly did not try to win. I don't know much about doubles badminton, but I'm pretty sure it's not normally played with a beer in one hand.
* According to a new poll, voters think Mitt Romney would do a better job handling the economy than President Obama. Here's where it gets even more interesting – those polled also think MC Hammer would do a better job handling the economy than Obama.
* President Obama is trying to woo senior citizen voters. To win over young voters, Obama promised to forgive some of their student loans. And to win over senior citizens, Obama promised to forgive some of their student loans.
* A search for Amelia Earhart, who's been missing since 1937, seemed to turn up nothing. Wasn't this a little ambitious to begin with, considering we can't find Mitt Romney's 2009 tax returns?
* The new rover will be searching for traces of water on Mars. After this, maybe the rover can search for traces of water in eastern Nebraska.
* A man in Kearney was arrested after writing a bomb threat on a job application. He didn't get the job. There you go. Once again, if any little thing is amiss on the job app, the employer passes you right over.
* A 1-year-old black bear walked into a Sears store at a shopping mall outside Pittsburgh. This means statistically your odds of finding a bear inside Sears are better than finding a sales clerk.
* Upon seeing the black bear, Sears employees leapt into action and tried to sell him an extended warranty.
* Wildlife officials were going to shoot the bear with a tranquilizer gun. The way things have been going for Sears the past few years, Sears officials said, “No – we're just grateful for the business.”
* In a sign of the times, the black bear realized where it was and rushed out of Sears to go look for a Target or Kohl's.
* At the Texas state fair, chicken-fried bacon will be served. In event of war, it'd be against the Geneva Conventions to feed this to captured prisoners.
* New York Jets coach Rex Ryan has lost 106 pounds. The only thing he's been putting in his mouth is his foot.