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Brad's morning edition
Check back with Omaha.com this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* This week marks the 110th anniversary of the invention of air conditioning. If Presidents Day is a national holiday, so should this.
* The interesting thing about Nebraska is that if you don't like the weather, just wait an hour and it'll get even hotter and drier.
* The AARP has ranked Omaha as one of the 10 best places to retire. I'm not sure what the leading criteria was, but we can rule out climate and taxes.
* A new law approved by the Nebraska Legislature went into effect Thursday allowing counties to adopt population control measures for black-tailed prairie dogs. If you think your job stinks, be glad you're not the guy out in 100-degree heat trying to put condoms on prairie dogs.
* It's so hot that Omahans are standing in Midtown Crossing just for the cool breeze kicked up by moving vans as another retailer leaves.
* The Red Sky Music Festival is under way in Omaha. It's sort of like the Academy of Country Music Awards, only with more country music.
* Some Republicans want Mitt Romney to choose a “flashy” running mate. So he's narrowed it down to Deion Sanders or Lady Gaga.
* The Romney campaign is asking voters to use their imaginations to picture what a Romney presidency would look like. Why not? We're already using our imaginations to picture what a Romney tax return would look like.
* At the Democratic National Convention, more than 1 ton of confetti will drop - all shredded fake Obama birth certificates.
* Mitt Romney sat down for an interview with Oprah. I wouldn't say Oprah wields a lot of influence, but Romney is set to introduce Stedman Graham as his running mate.
* Oprah was actually relieved after the interview. When she heard Romney sought to be the most powerful person on Earth, she thought he was after her job.
* Charlie Sheen is in talks to be a new judge on “American Idol.” I'd watch, especially if the other open judge job goes to Robert Blake.
* The Big Ten is reportedly considering giving Jim Delany the power to fire coaches. This is one way to get coaches to say nice things about the commissioner at Big Ten media days.
* Delany has one other request: From now on, members of the media are to address him as “Your Majesty.”
* New York Jets coach Rex Ryan has lost 106 pounds, which, surprisingly, is not a reference to trading Danny Woodhead.
* The Storm Chasers, mired in a slump, gave up 18 hits to Oklahoma City on Wednesday night. Storm Chaser fans say as long as the popcorn machine and the merry-go-round are working, they'll stick with the team.