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Brad's morning edition
Check back with Omaha.com this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* I think the super PACs are running out of things to criticize Bob Kerrey about. There's a new $1 million commercial attacking Kerrey's choice in neckties.
* A cougar spotted near Kearney is to be stuffed and mounted at the entrance to a Kearney school. This sounds like more grist for a Vogue essay by Bob Kerrey's wife. “There are dead animals at the entrance of each Nebraska school.”
* Mitt Romney has raised a record $100 million in one month. So apparently those Chief Justice John Roberts dartboards are selling well.
* Romney just addressed the NAACP convention. Compared with this, President Obama doesn't feel so uncomfortable driving around small-town Iowa.
* In Detroit men's rooms there's a new thing - talking urinal cakes, to remind men who've had too much to drink to call a cab. The good news: The U.S. still leads the world in one technological breakthrough. The bad news: It's a talking urinal cake.
* Take that, China. We still beat you on talking urinal cakes.
* A drug cartel has been linked to U.S. horse racing. It's just a good thing the drug cartel was not linked to American dog racing or this could've ruined the image of drug cartels.
* A new Ohio law removes the “vicious” designation from certain breeds of dog. I think this may be premature - lawmakers made the decision while a pit bull held them at gunpoint.
* Agents at the Los Angeles airport seized a songbird hopping down the aisle of a flight; these kinds of birds sometimes carry the avian flu. Just when you think summer air travel can't get worse, along comes this the singing avian flu bird.
* In the wake of controversy surrounding the U.S. Olympic Team's Chinese-made uniforms, all U.S. competitors in the Tour de France are vowing to use nothing but performance enhancers that are made in America.
* There's controversy over whether fans should be allowed to select players for the MLB All-Star game. I'm against allowing fans to select the teams mainly based on the fact that these are the same people who selected the current Congress.