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Brad's afternoon edition
* The four finalists for Omaha police chief were announced Wednesday. This is a lot like the Miss America pageant, the difference being with a one-year reign, Miss America holds the job longer than most Omaha police chiefs.
* There's a new clock that shows the national debt . Wait, my mistake. That was actually a clock showing how much the Omaha sewer system upgrade will cost.
* I read that President Obama's wealthy donors are disappearing. Actually, they're still around - they're just no longer wealthy.
* A mystery woman was spotted at the side of North Korea's new leader. Turns out it was Katie Holmes - she wanted a guy who was less fanatical than Tom Cruise.
* In a new ad, President Obama accuses Mitt Romney of outsourcing. Romney said he'll have a response just as soon as it's prepared by some guy working the night shift in India.
* Rhode Island has repealed a law against telling white lies. Officials realized this was necessary when 99.9 percent of the state's population was behind bars.
* Rhode Island has repealed a law against white lies. Which means for the first time the Obama and Romney campaigns can visit there without fear of incarceration.
* A Massachusetts man paid off his mortgage with 62,000 pennies. Idea: Next time banks need a billion-dollar bailout, give it to ‘em all in pennies.
* You know the banks - they just foreclosed on the house because he was one cent short.
* A Chicago ward has begun using feral cats to catch rats. Because they're technically now city employees, the feral cats are demanding six weeks of vacation and two-hour lunches.
* After agreeing to plead guilty to money laundering and bankruptcy fraud, Lenny Dykstra faces up to 20 years in prison. He's actually relieved - he was afraid he was looking at six weeks with the Colorado Rockies.
* Blake Griffin was named to the U.S. Olympic basketball team. This was to take advantage of international rules awarding an extra point for dunking over a car.