Breaking Brad: Footlong bratwurst shows versatility -
Published Friday, June 22, 2012 at 12:01 am / Updated at 11:22 am
Breaking Brad: Footlong bratwurst shows versatility

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's morning edition

Check back with this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.

* The Miami Heat won the NBA Finals. There was a lot of crying and grown men weeping - wait, those were actually Big Ten officials reacting when they heard the BCS agreed on a college football playoff.

* What a College World Series it has been. You can't put a price on this experience, and even you could put a price on it, a Florida State player would just switch the tag.

* Spotted tailgating outside TD Ameritrade Park: people playing beer pong inside an old school bus with tinted windows. Good call. If you're going to play hooky from work to play beer pong in a 1983 bus, it's best that the windows be tinted.

* During the CWS, an Omaha Metro transit bus is running from the Old Market to the CenturyLink Center. This is great for fans looking for a cruder form of transportation than pedicabs or carriage rides.

* The World Burping Championships just ended in New York City. Meanwhile, Omaha has the College World series and U.S. Olympic Swim Trials. Yes, the world is headed in the right direction.

* The World-Herald has been offering extensive CWS coverage. At one point the other night, South Carolina was called for having 10 men on the field; the 10th guy turned out to be a World-Herald reporter live blogging.

* The popularity of the CWS keeps growing. I saw a sign outside TD Ameritrade Park: “Will Swap 4 Shares of Facebook Stock For a Ticket.”

* The evening commute in Omaha went smoothly on Thursday, except for the cows on the Kennedy Freeway.

* After a cattle truck overturned Thursday afternoon and cows were wandering the Kennedy Freeway, the Omaha Public Works Department had no idea what to do. Sort of like when it snows.

* This weekend in Omaha, the Democratic state convention is being held, as are Lingerie Football League tryouts. If you think this scheduling was a coincidence, you are apparently unfamiliar with the Democratic Party.

* Me-TV has begun airing the old show “Green Acres” about a New York City couple that moves to a tiny hamlet in the middle of nowhere. In the first episode, Mitt Romney rolls through on his bus tour and Warren Buffett shows up to buy the Hooterville Gazette.

* On Thursday, Moody's downgraded 15 banks around the world. Moody's had so much momentum going, it then downgraded Ann Curry.

* There was a huge Twitter outage Thursday about noon. It was horrible. I had to go almost three hours without knowing what Jaleel White had for lunch.

* The Supreme Court decision on health care may be rendered on television. To get Americans to pay attention, instead of the U.S. Supreme Court reading the decision, it will be read by Judge Judy.

* Good news on the employment front. Due to the severe heat wave affecting the East Coast, Mitt Romney has hired a second guy to fan him all day.

* Manny Pacquiao said he wants a rematch with Timothy Bradley. The event could be held up if Bradley is forced to make a mandatory defense of his title against the No. 1 ranked fighter: Alec Baldwin.

* A new menu item at the College World Series at TD Ameritrade Park is the footlong bratwurst. Instead of a weighted bat, players are swinging these in the on-deck circle.

* I wouldn't say there's a lot of beer in the vicinity of TD Ameritrade Park during the College World Series, but a water main on 10th Street burst and Bud Light flowed out.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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