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Brad's afternoon edition
* This weekend, Nebraska Democrats are holding their state convention in Omaha. For those of you unfamiliar with Democratic conventions, this will be similar to the College World Series, only with more beer gardens.
* The world's sixth-wealthiest man, Larry Ellison, has purchased a lush, tropical island in Hawaii that's often referred to as "paradise." In a related story, the world's third-wealthiest man, Warren Buffett, is closing in on a deal to acquire a new fax machine for the Muscatine Tribune.
* Mitt Romney visited Disney World on Thursday. Someone asked: "Would you like to see Grumpy?" and Romney said, "Newt Gingrich is here?"
* Spotted outside TD Ameritrade Park: Fans tailgating in an old-school bus with a stereo and beer pong. I'm trying to confirm that the owner of the bus told his wife the CWS is a four-month competition and he'll be home sometime in October.
* Tampa Bay Rays pitcher Joel Peralta was ejected for having an unidentified foreign substance in his glove. At the TD Ameritrade concession stand this is called "dipping sauce."
* A new Zesto opened in time for the College World Series. Investors say if they realized a new Zesto was about to open in Omaha, they would have skipped the Facebook IPO to invest in this sure thing.
* The city of Detroit may go broke in about a week. After hearing Detroit may go broke, Americans were stunned, mostly because they assumed Detroit had gone broke about 10 years ago.
* Embattled JPMogan Chase head Jamie Dimon told Congress he was sorry about the mistakes that led the company to lose billions of shareholder dollars. Under the tough Obama policy for Wall Street malfeasance and wrongdoing, Dimon will have to write "I'm sorry" 10 times on a blackboard.
* A Louisiana high school grad whose photo was deemed too sexy for the school yearbook has landed a role in a horror movie. OK, class of 2013, the template has been set: Forget studying and focus on picking out something racy for your yearbook photo.
* The upcoming Star Trek movie takes place so far into the future, Mitt Romney has stopped trying to capitalize on Obama's remark that the private sector is doing fine.
* School lunch prices are set to rise. This is blamed on the rising cost of processed cow lips.
* There's a huge heat wave back east. It's so hot in Philadelphia, Phillies fans have been dumping beer over their own heads.
* Two Missouri women were charged with flashing at an Illinois golf course. The only way this could be any tackier is if that golf course has a windmill.
* For those of you unfamiliar with the Missouri sports scene, compared to University of Missouri football and basketball fans, these ladies are the cream of the crop.