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Brad's morning edition
Check back with Omaha.com this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* There's a contest to select a new Douglas County seal that cries out "Douglas County." Rumor has it that the early leader depicts a man with a backpack and a Sherpa looking for a polling place.
* I'd like to clear up some confusion for fans arriving for the U.S. Olympic Swim trials. That building with the huge swimmer out front is not the competition venue; it's an insurance company. Long story, but you can stop trying to buy tickets there.
* This just in: Florida State leads the College World Series in attempted steals.
* Florida State's John Holland was arrested at Village Pointe mall after he allegedly switched the price tag on an item. This is when you know somebody is from out of town - they think there's anything a college student can afford at Village Pointe.
* Former President George H.W. Bush posed beside the new 1,092-foot aircraft carrier named for him. Talk about an awkward moment. Mitt Romney just happened to sail past on his 1,094-ft. pleasure boat.
*According to a new poll, Michelle Obama's approval rating is still 66 percent. After seeing this, President Obama has decided to stop discussing his policies and will just lead crowds in jumping jacks.
* Newt Gingrich basically took issue with Donald Trump and proclaimed that President Obama is from America. You know it's a crazy campaign when Newt Gingrich is the voice of reason.
* Mitt Romney has been described as "vague" on whether he'd rescind President Obama's immigration policy. I believe Romney's official response was: "Uh ... oh ... gotta go."
* I read that on the campaign trail, Mitt Romney prefers to stay at Marriott hotels. I knew Romney was wealthy, but I didn't realize he was wealthy enough to afford to make a local call at a Marriott.
* Romney's potential vice presidents are being subjected to intimate examination and extremely close scrutiny. It's sort of like when you apply for a Sears card, only not as invasive.
* The daughter of Maryland Rep. Steny Hoyer has publicly come out as a lesbian. As a member of the current Congress, Hoyer is preparing his response, which should be ready in March of 2014.
* According to a study, this was our warmest spring since 1910. That means Jim Delany and Big Ten baseball had no excuses.
* There's a new menu item at TD Ameritrade Park for the College World Series - a footlong bratwurst. It comes with ketchup and mayo and is served between two defibrillators.
* To deal with soccer hooligans at the European soccer championships, police in Poland brought in "testicle biting dogs." Hey, I think I figured out a way to finally make Cleveland Browns fans behave.