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Brad's morning edition
Check back with Omaha.com this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* I'd like to welcome the out-of-town visitors to the CWS, which now stands for City Worshiping Stony Brook.
* An asteroid the size of a city block passed by Earth at 7 Thursday night. I saw this thing and assumed it was hail.
* If this weather keeps up, instead of a bullpen cart at the College World Series, a submarine will be utilized.
* The rest of the College World Series opening ceremonies were canceled Thursday night, but the fireworks went on as scheduled. Only Omahans don't let a flash flood warning and ground lightning strikes get in the way of the fireworks.
* Instead of carriage rides in front of TD Ameritrade Park, you could swim with the dolphins.
* When storms moved in Thursday night, there was $4,000 in damage at TD Ameritrade Park. Two souvenir T-shirts and a concession hot dog were destroyed.
* On the news, five fans were shown taking cover under a foot-long bratwurst.
* I spent all night hiding in a closet in the basement. It had nothing to do with the weather. I do that whenever a new Adam Sandler movie opens
* The weather was so bad, the zoo was offering canoe tours to try and capitalize one last time on the end of Rosenblatt Stadium.
* According to a new study, the air quality in Omaha is down. This is actually good news. The only way we'll see any scoring at TD Ameritrade Park during the College World Series is when players lose a ball in the haze.
* The College World Series is that two-week period when we see that there's really no discernible difference between Occupy Omaha protesters and tailgaters.
* The World-Herald is offering comprehensive CWS coverage. Please join us on Sunday for an exclusive interview with the Stony Brook third baseman's fourth grade teacher's nephew. Only in The World-Herald.
* The CWS officially began when Mayor Jim Suttle proclaimed TD Ameritrade Park the World's Largest Beer Garden.
* Bob Kerrey and Deb Fischer are going to debate at the Nebraska State Fair in August. Fischer is going to be a busy bee at the fair as she's also competing in calf-roping, soil-judging and presenting seven of her prized pigs going for blue ribbons.
* The World-Herald reports that an Omaha property tax hike appears unlikely. I believe we picked up the story from "Ripley's Believe It Or Not."
* A Wall Street Journal reporter resigned after leaked emails hinted at an affair. The good news is, she's the new frontrunner to be the next superintendent of Omaha Public Schools.
* Kiplinger magazine has named St. Louis the biggest city for cheapskates. St. Louis officials plan to issue a stern rebuke and at this very moment are huddling inside a Dollar Tree.
* A new "Star Trek" movie is opening soon. In this one, Mr. Spock tells Mitt Romney to "loosen up a little. You're coming off as too programmed."
* I saw an article on the oldest living sisters in the world,. Two women in Britain with a combined age of 213. Some things never change. They spend their days arguing over who Mom liked best.
* Thursday night President Obama attended a fund-raiser at the home of actress Sarah Jessica Parker. At this pace, Obama will run out of good celebrities around the middle of 2015 and be forced to hang out with Howie Mandel.
* Actress Amanda Bynes tweeted President Obama, asking him to fire the police officer who cited her for DUI. That's silly! Imagine thinking the President of the United States doesn't have anything better to do? She should've texted Joe Biden.
* A dad in eastern Iowa discovered a 14,000-year-old wooly mammoth in his backyard. Archeologists were able to date the wooly mammoth because it was laying near a newspaper article from the last time a Big Ten team advanced to the College World Series.
* Now that the dad found a 14,000 year-old-wooly mammoth he is going to focus on a bigger challenge - remembering where he left the TV remote.