Breaking Brad: Snooki reveals baby's sex - Omaha.com
Published Thursday, June 14, 2012 at 1:30 pm / Updated at 11:26 am
Breaking Brad: Snooki reveals baby's sex

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition

Read Brad's morning edition here.

* A 14-year-old boy is playing in the U.S. Open. His parents only had one request: that he not be paired with John Daly.

* In order to keep him engaged, the 14-year-old's caddy is dressed like SpongeBob Squarepants.

* Charles Barkley compared the Miami Heat to Tito Jackson. I think the difference is, the Miami Heat's last album sold better than Tito Jackson's, but Tito has a higher free throw percentage in the clutch.

* On Thursday, both President Obama and Mitt Romney campaigned in Ohio. This means they were the second- and third-most powerful people in the state, behind Urban Meyer.

* The first presidential debate has been scheduled. President Obama will debate Bill Clinton over whether we need to extend the Bush tax cuts.

* Michelle Obama just attended a Beyonce concert. The evening was marred when Obama leapt on stage and led the entire crowd in jumping jacks.

* There are tentative plans for a vice presidential debate. We need to see how they can handle the job of vice president. Instead of a debate, how about the candidates deliver dueling eulogies?

* According to a new poll, Mitt Romney has taken the lead in Florida. After hearing this, Romney released his official statement thanking the people of Florida. It read: "Gracias."

* Jill Biden has written a children's book. It teaches kids how to have ambition, drive and determination so they don't get stuck in a job like vice president.

* A bond ratings agency lowered Spain's rating three notches. To put this in perspective, it'd be a better idea to buy Mega Millions lotto tickets than Spanish bonds.

* I wouldn't say the U.S. Senate went easy on JPMorgan Chase head Jamie Dimon during questioning Wednesday, but at one point senators placed Dimon atop their shoulders and walked around the room singing "For he's a jolly good fellow."

* Senators asked Dimon for financial advice when they were supposed to be drilling him. That's a little like asking Bonnie and Clyde their philosophy on banking reform.

* Nine years after it opened, an elementary school in Fort Worth, Texas, is correcting its own misspelled name on the school building. This is sign No. 1 the U.S. educational system is lacking: The name outside the building is spelled incorrectly for nine years.

* In an online article, Snooki from "Jersey Shore" revealed the sex of her baby. I'd like to learn the big news, but I literally could not summon enough enthusiasm to lift my finger to the mouse and click on the link.

* After recording a save, Cleveland Indians closer Chris Perez vomited on the field. He wasn't sick. No, he just had the same reaction as a lot of people in Cleveland after they heard LeBron James made it back to the NBA Finals.

* Two Missouri women are accused of flashing at an Illinois golf course. Tiger Woods announced he's withdrawing from the U.S. Open to play nine holes there.

* The Omaha Storm Chasers held a promotion where fans dug in the infield to find diamonds. If anyone found a 5-carat diamond, it could be exchanged for one Werner Park concession item.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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