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Brad's morning edition
Check back with Omaha.com this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* President Obama continues to be criticized for saying "the private sector is doing fine." Today he took it a step further and suggested that instead of developing an economic plan, he's just encouraging all Americans to hum the song "Don't worry, be happy."
* By saying that the private sector is doing fine, Obama is reminiscent of the guy on the Titanic telling people, "Just relax and enjoy the band."
* Obama hasn't sent much manpower to Omaha before the election and thus far appears to be almost ignoring the city. Hey, that worked for Deb Fischer.
* In an effort to be re-elected, Obama has been embracing and hanging out with John McCain. However, Obama refuses to spend time with Meghan McCain, because a man will only go so far to win back the presidency.
* Mitt Romney mocked Obama's call for more teachers the same week the Romney campaign made three spelling errors. And the bad timing award goes to ...
* Three spelling errors in a week. One more and the American people may begin to have doubts if these are the geniuses to solve the $15 trillion national debt.
* In Westlake, Ohio, a woman is accused of breaking into a house and cleaning it. I reached out to her. Not for a comment. No, I wanted to give her my address and arrange a time I can turn the alarm off.
* Bell Elementary School in Papillion has 13 sets of twins, one set of triplets and a set of quadruplets. I'm pretty sure they all sat behind me last time I went to a game at Werner Park.
* A New York high school canceled plans for a condom giveaway at the prom. Call me old fashioned, but I miss the traditional crowning of the king and queen. Now the highlight at proms is when somebody breaks the condom pinata.
* Lindsay Lohan may have lied to police after her recent car accident. This is serious stuff, because if it's learned that Lohan did lie to cops, she may have to return to jail for another eight minutes.
* Top NHL goalie Tim Thomas announced plans to take a year off. Several Minnesota Twins are also taking a year off. They're going to stay in the lineup - they're just taking the year off.
* I thought I was watching a rerun of "The Great Escape" - a guy was digging a tunnel and crawling through barbed wire. Turned out to be another basketball player trying to transfer from Wisconsin.