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Brad's morning edition
Check back with Omaha.com this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* This year's Taste of Omaha included non-food vendors like "Shoes By Shirley." Attendees said with a little ketchup and mayonnaise, the shoes weren't half bad.
* New Omaha Schools Superintendent Nancy Sebring resigned after it was learned she sent inappropriate emails from work. If everyone who did this quit, instead of 8.2 percent, the Friday unemployment numbers would have been about 42.5 percent.
* Omaha is not the place for a city official who sends racy emails from work. No, Gretna is the place for a city official who sends racy emails from work.
* A mysterious unidentified object was spotted over Philadelphia. Imagine if alien spacecraft landed in Philadelphia. As the alien beings exited the spaceship, a huge crowd of Philadelphians would gather to boo them.
* This is a very dangerous situation. If the aliens came into contact with any Philadelphia Eagles fans, we're pretty much looking at "War of the Worlds: The Home Game."
* Snigdha Nandipati, 14, of San Diego won the Scripps National Spelling Bee after correctly spelling "guetapens" a word meaning "Snigdha Nandipati spends too much time studying spelling."
* This is nice: The EPA has presented the producers of "Men in Black III" a special award for recycling the plots of "Men In Black I" and "Men In Black II."
* President Obama just attended a fundraiser hosted by former president Bill Clinton at a private residence. Apparently George Clooney was unavailable.
* Vice President Joe Biden's daughter was married in a small, private ceremony. Originally, Joe Biden was planning on having a large wedding and inviting all the Democrats, but the thought of Bill Clinton lining up to kiss the bride was simply too much.
* Friday was declared National Doughnut Day. A quick prediction: In five years, this will be bigger than Christmas.
* While we can no longer seem to get excited about Flag Day or Armistice Day, something tells me Doughnut Day is a keeper.
* In Ontario, Canada, a fisherman is recovering after being mauled by a black bear who attacked when the man was using an outhouse. The fisherman said it was traumatic and terrifying - and that was just using the outhouse before the bear showed up.
* The new cast of the show "Basketball Wives" have been banned from fighting on the TV show. Remember when nobody had to warn the guys on the MacNeil/Lehrer Report, "Now, remember, no brawling"?
* Ndamukong Suh is going to participate in a reality dating show. OK, I think Suh has been punished too much by the NFL commissioner, but this warrants at least a three-game suspension.