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Brad's morning edition
Check back with Omaha.com this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* The official portraits of George W. and Laura Bush were unveiled Thursday afternoon at the White House. With the acrimony in Washington, both portraits are expected to have fake mustaches drawn on by Monday morning.
* Lincoln mayor Chris Beutler called for repealing the city's gay rights ordinance. In a possibly related story, Ron Brown announced that his starting wingback in 2012 will be Chris Beutler.
* Outside Pittsburgh, motorists reported a pig in a colorful scarf running alongside the interstate. Having been to Pittsburgh, I have to say there's something weird about a city where the pigs dress better than the citizens.
* The Scripps National Spelling Bee just ended in Washington, D.C. In a sign of the times, this year kids were allowed to use spell check.
* The finals of the spelling bee aired on ESPN. This is pretty embarrassing for the Nebraska basketball team, which has appeared on ESPN less than some kid who spelled "kanaima."
* Fourteen-year-old Snigdha Nandipati, from San Diego, won the spelling bee after advancing to the finals purely based on being able to spell Snigdha Nandipati.
* After misspelling a word, a bell rings and the contestant is escorted off the stage. I say we do the same thing at the presidential debates whenever a candidate gives inaccurate information.
* The youngest ever Scripps National Spelling Bee contestant, a 6-year-old girl, did not advance to the finals, missing the word "ingluvies." Still, she learned an important life lesson: Kids who can correctly spell "ingluvies" need to get outside more.
* During a San Antonio Spurs playoff game, coach Gregg Popovich told his team, "I want some nasty." Ironically, President Obama just said the same thing to his campaign advisers.
* I wouldn't say Donald Trump appears out of control on the campaign trail, but today Romney aides shot him with a tranquilizer gun.
* Newt Gingrich is now campaigning for Mitt Romney. The hope is that Gingrich can woo the second largest swing group: Newt Gingrich ex-wives.
* A spacecraft just passed through the end of the solar system. Sounds like Trump is pulling out all stops to find Obama's original birth certificate.
* According to a new study, Americans work more than Europeans. Most Europeans will not be available to comment until they return from their summer vacations in mid-November.
* On separate occasions, two jurors have been kicked off the Roger Clemens trial for sleeping. That's when I officially lose all faith in the American judicial system - the bailiff is winding a snooze alarm in the jury box.
* Chipper Jones, 40 is angry with Jamie Moyer, 49, for claiming Chipper stole signs. You know what you normally call it in sports when a 49-year-old and a 40-year-old engage in name calling? "The prefight weigh-in."