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Brad's morning edition
* Tropical Storm Beryl is bearing down on South Carolina and Florida. It’s awful - the University of Miami football program had to cancel five recruiting visits after the official team yacht ended up in the Bahamas.
* There’s a new Facebook group - "Can this sock get more cash than the Facebook IPO."
* A carry-out pizza chain based in Dallas has a promotion - anyone who orders in Spanish on June 5 gets a free pizza. This could be the first thing ever to motivate high school kids to learn a foreign language. Getting free pizza.
* This means the stumbling U.S. economy is only the second-biggest Republican issue in the upcoming election, with getting a free pizza for ordering in Spanish now the primary concern.
* It was reported that North Korea launched another missile. Turns out that was just Rush Limbaugh’s head exploding after hearing you get a pizza for ordering in Spanish.
* Several members of the John Edwards jury have been warned to stop flirting with Edwards. Just when you think our judicial system can’t get any worse, the verdict in the trial could be: "It’s complicated."
* I realize that American juries have been considered lenient when it comes to celebrities on trial, but is it asking too much for jurors not to hit on the defendant?
* Jury deliberations entered their seventh day on Tuesday. That’s misleading because the jury has spent most of that time picking out outfits that match John’s eyes for the reading of the verdict.
* I’m starting to think that, at $15 per day, jurors are overpaid.
* More information is emerging about Mark Zuckerberg’s recent wedding. After hearing that a man worth almost $19 billion was interested in settling down, 23 of the 25 women filming the new edition of "The Bachelor" ran out the door.
* The Romney campaign has purchased $1.2 million worth of ad time in battleground states. Fortunately, Romney’s American Express card has a limit of $1.3 million.
* The mayor of Newark, who’s also an adviser to the Obama campaign, called the attacks on Romney "nauseating" and "crap." Obama is going to punish him just as soon as he can come up with something worse than living in Newark.
* Three hundred marijuana plants were seized in Nebraska. I saw the 300 marijuana plants set out on a table; at first I thought it was a press conference to announce that Willie Nelson is returning to the state fair.
* Wells Fargo fired an employee after a background check revealed she shoplifted 40 years ago. Let this be a warning to all banking employees: If you break the law, it will catch up to you in 40 years.
* Taylor Hicks of "American Idol" fame is getting a residency performing a Las Vegas show. This is the best economic news President Obama could hope for. When "American Idol" winners are gainfully employed in show business, it means the economy is booming.