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Brad's afternoon edition
* According to a new study, coffee helps you live longer. Imagine if this is true. That means not only does that guy in the corner with his laptop at Starbucks never leave, but he's gonna be there for the next 75 years.
* Tubby the gorilla is back on display at the Henry Doorly Zoo after undergoing surgery for a broken jaw at the Nebraska Med Center. I'm happy to report that everyone is doing well, with the exception of the med center candy striper told to shave the patient in room 104 before surgery.
* An interesting stat: Statistically, Tubby has as much chance of deciphering his hospital bill as any other patient.
* In the Czech Republic a 10-ton bridge has been stolen. My theory is that the bridge has entered the United States and was smuggled past TSA agents at the airport.
* You know what you'd call a 10-ton bridge smuggled on a plane? "Carry-on luggage."
* This is when you know your security at the docks may be lacking - the 10-ton bridge is stolen.
* This weekend, there's going to be an opportunity to view a once-in-50-years solar eclipse. While the eclipse is once in 50 years, the L.A. Clippers are in the second round of the playoffs, which happens only once in 75 years.
* Wednesday, there was a UFO spotted near the Denver airport. Because it's the Denver airport, the UFO was 90 minutes behind schedule.
* Tom Brokaw criticized the White House Correspondents' Dinner. Both of the upcoming hosts, Carrot Top and Gallagher, say they will attempt to inject some needed dignity into the festivities.
* According to a real estate website, the White House is worth $110 million. After hearing that, both Barack Obama and Mitt Romney said, "We're prepared to pay $500 million."
* An Omaha woman is suing her plastic surgeon after breast-reduction surgery that she says left her with lopsided breasts. I predict that Channel 7 will cover this story nightly until its resolution in mid-2015.
* A high school baseball team in Arizona forfeited a state championship game because the opposing team had a girl playing second base. In a desperate attempt to get some wins, the Minnesota Twins are now looking for a female infielder.
* The team forfeited a state title because the opponent used a girl at second base. The idea was to teach the kids a life lesson. And that life lesson is: Adults are idiots.
* Competitors at the London Olympics will be tested for "unhealthy substances that could cause serious health repercussions." I assume they're referring to British food.