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Brad's afternoon edition
* In the next week, President Obama is going to campaign with both actor George Clooney and with former President Bill Clinton. Just think: Obama is gonna campaign with America's No. 1 bachelor. And also with Clooney.
* Over the weekend, Zorinsky Lake reopened and the new Lake Wanahoo opened. At this rate, by 2032 every square inch of Nebraska will be either a lake or a baseball stadium.
* Aaron Green is leaving the Nebraska football program. This means it's up to the remaining 26 I-backs on the roster to somehow pick up the slack.
* Obama has a new campaign slogan: "Forward." That narrowly beat out the second choice: "Empty your pockets, America."
* It's not to be confused with Newt Gingrich's old slogan, "One step forward, two steps back."
* John Edwards is facing allegations surrounding an extramarital affair. If found guilty, he could be sentenced to 15 years with the Secret Service.
* U.S. Secret Service agents have been ordered to avoid "nonreputable establishments." Which I'm assuming includes the U.S. House of Representatives.
* President-elect of Russia, Vladimir Putin, posed with a tiger he supposedly shot. I don't know if that's a good idea. In its present state, I'm pretty sure PETA could take the Russian army.
* Omaha's Dundee Theater is undergoing a modernizing renovation. The goal: Bring the decor up to the late 18th century.
* Several TSA agents in Los Angeles allegedly took cash and allowed narcotics to pass through security over a six-month period. I only hope these 9,000 recent incidents don't scar the TSA.
* A 20-year-old man in eastern Kentucky was arrested after posting on Facebook a photo of himself siphoning gas from a police car. According to experts, this should do absolutely nothing to restore the academic reputation of the eastern Kentucky educational system.
* The last player chosen in the NFL Draft is called "Mr. Irrelevant." When I heard "Mr. Irrelevant," I assumed one of the presidential candidates had chosen his running mate.
* Actually, this may be the first time "Mr. Irrelevant" was taken in the first round. But enough about the Kansas City Chiefs' pick.
* All NFL Draft picks are kept top secret until their names are announced. The only people who know are the commissioner and the eavesdropping New Orleans Saints GM.