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Brad's afternoon edition
* A commercial airline flight in Chicago was delayed after authorities suspected a passenger had monkeypox. What's the one thing that could make summer airline travel even worse? Crowded flights? Check. Overbooked flights? Check. Lost luggage and crying babies? Check. Monkeypox? Check.
* Agents from the Centers for Disease Control boarded the flight. That's when you know your vacation is off to a bad start. You're sitting on the tarmac and the CDC boards the plane.
* This just in: The Charlotte Bobcats' winning percentage is the exact same number as your odds of winning the Mega Millions lottery.
* According to a report, the U.S. Secret Service agents in Colombia were planning a "sexy party." When Democrats do that it's called a "convention."
* The Lewis and Clark Trust, to preserve the memories of the two explorers, is setting up shop in Omaha. Members of the trust plan to re-enact the harrowing journey of Lewis and Clark on May 15 when they venture from an Omaha residence to the nearest polling place.
* A South Korean group upset with Lady Gaga's "lewd lyrics" is praying that her concert scheduled for Friday night in Seoul doesn'thappen. Praying that a concert doesn't happen never works. Trust me, I try it every time Nickelback comes to town.
* Iran claims that it has "cracked the codes" for the downed U.S. drone. Now Iran is moving on to try and discover something even bigger and more complex: the "American Idol" voting system.
* Arizona officials are defending their new immigration law before the U.S. Supreme Court. Really, is there any defense for legislation allowing the government to return illegal immigrants to Mexico via slingshot?
* Several TSA agents in Los Angeles allegedly took cash and allowed narcotics to pass through security for a six-month period. In their defense, during that time, the agents successfully confiscated more than 8,000 oversized bottles of Head & Shoulders.
* A McDonald's employee in South Carolina allegedly spit in customers' drinks after they sent iced tea back because it wasn't sweet enough. I believe the official charge is: "Making the worst nightmare of every American come true."
* A New York City health club now has an open cocktail bar. If this works out, they plan to start a cardio smoking section.
* An animal shelter is allowing the animals to play on iPads in the hopes of creating art. The shelter is located in Southern California, or does that go without saying?
* Animals creating art. This means the next time you see a painting of dogs playing poker, it could be a self-portrait.
* Two Detroit Lions players were busted for marijuana in two days. Attending a Lions game is like going to a Grateful Dead concert, only with a better chance of getting a contact high.
* According to current and former players, up to 60 percent of Oregon football players smoke marijuana. It's having an effect. Two current players just left school early to make themselves available for the 2007 draft.
* As of midweek, the Omaha Storm Chasers had won 10 straight games at home. Idea: Send the entire Storm Chasers team to Kansas City, and send the entire Royals team to Omaha.
* The Storm Chasers have a huge home-field advantage. Other teams have to adjust to the merry-go-round adjacent to third base.