* * * * * * * * * *
Brad's afternoon edition
* Rudy Giuliani endorsed Mitt Romney in what's being called a "low-key endorsement." Coming on the heels of the Ted Nugent endorsement, I think Giuliani could have screamed "Vote for Romney!" while bungee jumping from the Empire State Building and it would have seemed low-key.
* The presidential election in France is under way. Nicolas Sarkozy is in second place, which still isn't as embarrassing as the one write-in vote for Newt Gingrich in his own handwriting.
* According to a report, one in three U.S. job applicants is rejected after the employer checks his or her Facebook posts. This means it's not President Obama's fault that unemployment is over 8 percent, it's Mark Zuckerberg's.
* Employers say they're checking job applicants' Facebook and Twitter posts to see if the applicants have great communication skills. This is good news for the .0000001 percent of Facebook and Twitter users displaying great communication skills.
* Omaha police busted four day spas masquerading as brothels, and Omaha is getting a Lingerie Football League team. I'd like to officially welcome Omaha's new sister cities, Sodom and Gomorrah.
* To publicly humiliate his son for stealing money, a Denver father made the kid stand on a corner holding a sign reading "I am a thief." I prefer the old-fashioned way of publicly humiliating your kids: entering them on "American Idol."
* Omaha is getting a Lingerie Football League team. For people who are unfamiliar with the Lingerie Football League but watch the Super Bowl, this is basically one season-long wardrobe malfunction.
* I don't know about the Lingerie Football League in Omaha. I sort of miss the wholesome values of "Nickel Beer/Family Night" at Nighthawks games.
* The Lingerie Football League approached Ralston. Great, now a league with women running around in sports bras and thongs is too good for the Civic Auditorium.
* A completely out-of-control preschooler ran onto the field at a Chicago White Sox home game. With my track record, there's about an 80 percent chance this kid will end up seated behind me on an airline flight in the near future.
* A preschooler ran around the field. Let the record show that American professional sports fans are now acting like morons at the age of 4.
* Canada is phasing out its penny. Let's hope that never happens in the U.S. - how would the Kansas City Royals pay their performance bonuses?
* The Royals are off to a poor start. The only way the season could be going worse? Five words: "Public address announcer Ted Nugent."
* This just in: Metta World Peace has changed his name to Metta Cheap Shot.
* The Indianapolis Colts are staying mum on who their first draft pick will be. I think Dionne Warwick's Psychic Friends Network could figure this one out.