Breaking Brad: 'Buffett Rule' doesn't fly in Senate - Omaha.com
Published Tuesday, April 17, 2012 at 12:01 am / Updated at 9:50 am
Breaking Brad: 'Buffett Rule' doesn't fly in Senate

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's morning edition

Check back with Omaha.com this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.

* The U.S. Senate voted down the "Buffett Rule." Apparently some of our uninformed elected officials were under the impression it was the "Jimmy Buffett Rule" that would require Americans to walk around in Hawaiian shirts and board shorts.

* I am stunned that the Senate voted down the "Buffett Rule." What a shock that a group of wealthy American senators voted down a bill to raise taxes on wealthy Americans.

* I saw a woman on Farnam Street dragging three enormous knapsacks. It was Warren Buffett's secretary going to pay her taxes.

* Taxes are due Tuesday at midnight. You know what that means for Americans: Around 11 p.m. it'll be time to dig out those receipts and get to work.

* If the "Buffett Rule" passed, next year the 1040 form would mean that for every 50 bucks in income, the wealthy keep $10 and the government gets $40.

* Tuesday Donald Trump is hosting a birthday party for Ann Romney at the Trump Tower. Whatever you do, don't let Trump near the cake. Last time he blew out birthday candles, all the hot air set the building across the street on fire.

* To avoid the appearance of a privileged life, the Trumps and Romneys flew in a slightly lower grade of caviar from Monte Carlo.

* Many Republican leaders around the country were invited to sign Mrs. Romney's birthday message. Oh, this is embarrassing - through force of habit, Gov. Dave Heineman vetoed the card.

* More trouble for the Obama Administration. A group of Secret Service agents filed their taxes and listed a visit to a Colombian brothel as a "work expense."

* The Obama team has created dozens of new jobs. Unfortunately, two-thirds of the new jobs are for Colombian prostitutes.

* For their alleged involvement in a prostitution scandal in Colombia, 11 members of the Secret Service detail have been placed on paid leave. They were involved with prostitutes, and now they get paid for doing no work. It must feel like being elected to Congress.

* Obama is livid. Not so much that they allegedly paid for prostitutes, but that $200 could have gone to his re-election campaign.

* Scientists at Cal Tech have identified the smallest number ever. It's the amount of charitable contributions listed on Joe Biden's tax return.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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