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Brad's morning edition
Check back with Omaha.com this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* I'm sad to report that the Easter bunny won't be completing his rounds this year. I won't go into detail, but it involves the Douglas County Courthouse and a glue trap.
* I wouldn't say kids get carried away hunting for eggs, but just to be safe, the peregrine falcons on the 28th floor of the Woodmen building were seen moving their nest to the 29th floor.
* The Newt Gingrich think tank has filed for bankruptcy. A couple of weeks ago when Gingrich said he was about to start a new chapter, I didn't realize it was chapter 11.
* Google is developing a pair of glasses that connect the person wearing them to the Internet. Because between talking on cellphones, texting, applying makeup and eating, drivers just aren't distracted enough.
* This means you'll see some guy get cut off in traffic and roll down his window. "Hey, Mac, whaddya think you're doing?" "Checking my email."
* President Obama is hosting the White House Easter Egg Roll. It's a little different this year: Obama is implementing a mandatory $10 per egg tax on kids from families earning more than $250,000 per year.
* With Michelle Obama's "Let's Move!" plan for kids, to get to the eggs participants have to run through tires and climb a 40-foot wall.
* To really fool the kids at Easter egg hunts, the eggs should be hidden someplace they'll never look: hollowed-out math textbooks.
* According to a new study, men can tell if they're at risk for certain diseases by examining the length of their fingers. Before you say that sounds stupid, remember: This is a country that makes long-range weather forecasts based on whether a rodent sees his shadow.
* Jamie Moyer, 49, is attempting a comeback with the Colorado Rockies. That big chaw in his cheek is Metamucil.
* Moyer, 49, is on the Colorado Rockies roster. The Toronto Blue Jays added Omar Vizquel, who's about to turn 45, to the roster. Major League Baseball is like the Supreme Court, only older.