Breaking Brad: Uh oh. Only Congress can prevent tax-season disaster - Omaha.com
Published Friday, April 6, 2012 at 1:30 pm / Updated at 5:11 pm
Breaking Brad: Uh oh. Only Congress can prevent tax-season disaster

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition

Read Brad's morning edition here.

* This weekend kids will participate in Easter egg hunts. There's something similar next month, when adults in Omaha search for a polling place.

* The Dickson family's extended family Easter get-together has been canceled. Instead, with the price of gas, we're going to Skype.

* Joe Biden called Mitt Romney "out of touch." Romney said he'd have no comment until he's done installing the lava lamp and new shag carpet in his rumpus room.

* The IRS commissioner warned of a disastrous tax season next year unless Congress gets it right. OK, that means we're going to have a disastrous tax season next year.

* Rick Santorum called on Puerto Rico to establish English as its principal language if it wants to obtain statehood. Then Santorum went on to call for California to adopt English as its principal language if it wants to keep its statehood.

* The new Herman Cain ad features a toy bunny being shot. At first I thought, "This is the worst Easter video card I've ever seen."

* Cain is shooting toy bunnies and remaining candidates are carrying Etch A Sketches. It's great to live in a country where not only can any kid grow up to be president, but he can start acting like a presidential candidate as early as the first grade.

* Michelle Obama just appeared at the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards. She left in a hurry once it was realized nobody there was old enough to vote until 2024.

* The aquarium at the Henry Doorly Zoo reopened. In a cost-saving move, all the new fish were plucked from 10th Street during last summer's "minor flooding."

* Auto engineers are perfecting new technology that will allow drivers to remove both hands from the steering wheel. You know what that means, America - cellphone games at 85 mph!

* A high school in Minnesota is refusing to allow a student to bring a pornographic movie actress to his prom. They're concerned that seeing the risque attire that high school girls wear to prom could emotionally scar the actress.

* The NFL is bringing playoff overtime rules to the regular season. This is the only way for the Kansas City Chiefs to experience what it's like in the playoffs.

* Former Phillies star Lenny Dykstra was sentenced to three years for auto theft. He's not worried because the inmates in prison aren't as rough as the crowds at Philly games.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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