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* A new airline quality survey is out. JetBlue was rated the third-best airline. Now comes the hard part: telling the JetBlue pilots they didn't win.
* Deffenbaugh is running late on yard waste pickup. There's been some criticism, but to be fair, first the company needs to focus on picking up all the discarded Christmas trees.
* After Kentucky won the NCAA title, school officials acknowledged that numerous small fires had been set. This is when you know the school is trying to spin it. "Sure, the kids are committing arson, but it's small arson."
* Kentucky fans also set couches on fire. It was ugly. IKEA customers were burning their unassembled couches still inside the boxes.
* Tuesday morning, after the NCAA Tournament loss to Kentucky on Monday night, a Kansas player wadded up a newspaper and tried to throw it away. The newspaper was blocked by Kentucky's Anthony Davis.
* This just in: The NBA is requesting a waiver that would allow it to draft the entire Kentucky team at once.
* After the win over Louisville, Kentucky fans overturned cars and set couches on fire. I'm proud to say that I live in a state where the only time college students burn couches is when they find bedbugs in ‘em.
* President Obama was interviewed at halftime of the Kentucky-Kansas game. This was one of the rare 947 prime-time TV appearances by the Obamas, including Michelle Obama's three-day stint as "Wheel of Fortune" champion.
* Tom Osborne told the Associated Press that the Nebraska football team is going to wear uniforms with a "futuristic" design in one home game next season. Bear in mind that Coach Osborne's idea of futuristic apparel may tend to run toward double-breasted tweed suits.
* I'm picturing the futuristic design: red Star Trek uniforms.
* Over the weekend, a live rat was spotted inside the Douglas County Courthouse. Officials promptly leapt into action, declaring the courthouse the rat's primary domicile and handing it a large property tax bill.
* A new Occupy West Omaha movement has begun near Westroads. Wait, my mistake. The folks sleeping outdoors were just trying to win free crab for a year.
* The Mega Millions continues to get huge publicity. In a desperate attempt to win some media attention, Newt Gingrich will be holding a lottery drawing every day.
* A man in Wichita, Kan., was struck by lightning right after buying his Mega Millions ticket. Someone asked, "What are the odds of that?" Because there's been so much publicity, everyone in the country shouted, "One in 170,000."
* It's reported that renovations at Mitt Romney's California beach house will include a "car elevator." It's tough to relate to Americans when your cars live better than they do.
* The Romney campaign is sort of like watching a nine-month-long episode of "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous."
* President Obama was just in Oklahoma. Mr. President, if you were looking for a way to rub salt in the wounds of Nebraskans for never having visited here since winning election, you've done so.
* Obama discussed the most important issues to Oklahomans. No. 3: the Keystone XL pipeline. No. 2: unemployment. No. 1: whether high school football teams should go with tear-away jerseys.
* Newt Gingrich is scaling back his campaign due to financial issues. Gingrich is going to campaign largely on YouTube, where his economic plan currently has only 2 million fewer views than a 4-year-old with a pretzel in her nose.
* In Serbia, members of a "cannibal mafia" group have allegedly gone bad. I only hope this isolated incident doesn't ruin the image of all cannibal mafia groups.
* There is speculation that 19-year-old Miley Cyrus is engaged. While he was down on one knee, her fiance had one request: "Don't let your dad sing at the wedding."
* ESPN host Bob Knight was caught possibly sleeping on air. This is when you know the NCAA Tournament dragged: - A host leaves a wake-up call for the middle of "College GameDay."
* Syracuse coach Jim Boeheim called Charles Barkley an idiot. It's hard to believe that a man with this much wisdom and insight was unable to lead his team to the Final Four.
* The Real Madrid organization is building a soccer theme park. The phrase "dullest place on earth" immediately comes to mind.
* Colorado quarterback Nick Hirschman is out for the spring after breaking a bone in his foot while walking. Reason No. 7,189 to think the Colorado football program is snakebit.