* * * * * * * * * *
* After beating Louisville, Kentucky fans were turning over cars, screaming, shouting. It looked like the cockpit of a JetBlue flight.
* In Carlsbad, N.M., authorities arrested three men for cattle-rustling after a cow was found in the backseat of their car. Since it was Carlsbad, N.M., it may turn out to just be a really bad carpool.
* The Rock defeated John Cena at Wrestlemania. Which is good news for all those hoping that The Rock's wrestling career keeps him too busy to make any more movies.
* The 47th American Association of Country Music Awards aired Sunday night. Now there's a proposal to retroactively go back and award Taylor Swift all 47 Entertainer of the Year awards, even for those years when she wasn't yet born.
* I thought I was watching Kentucky basketball fans stoked after beating Louisville. They were overturning cars and setting fires. Turns out it was a group of Omahans thrilled by the opening of Joe's Crab Shack.
* Three people shared the $656 million Mega Millions Lottery prize. None has come forward; they're too busy familiarizing themselves with the Buffett Rule.
* To put that $656 million in perspective, it's how much Warren Buffett's secretary paid in taxes last year.
* The odds of winning the top prize were one in 176 million. Hey, speaking of that, I understand Ron Paul is still running for president.
* Sunday was April Fools Day. We already had Presidents Day; now we have Fools Day to honor the current Congress.
* It got up to 91 degrees in Omaha on Saturday. It was great to see a group of happy Omaha children running through a water main break to stay cool.
* House Republicans passed the doomed GOP budget plan. Things are so dire in Washington, that's its official name - "the doomed GOP budget plan." Which is not to be confused with "the dead-on-arrival Democratic plan."
* President Obama is urging Americans to contact their congressional representatives and tell them to vote for the Buffett Rule for the wealthy. Then there's the new Munger Rule for the middle class, which is when you're still working at age 88.
* Newt Gingrich compared himself to the Kansas basketball team. I've seen those vote totals. It might be more accurate to compare himself to the Kansas football team.
* Later this week, President Obama is going to preside over the White House Easter egg roll. A little different - instead of eggs, Obama is going to have the children search for any loose change campaign donors may have dropped.
* Former reality show star Rupert Boneham is the third party nominee for governor of Indiana. I was just saying that the only way politics in this country can get stupider is to bring in some reality contestants.
* Boneham finished eighth in his first appearance on "Survivor." This is the only country where people who weren't good enough to crack the top seven on "Survivor" are considered viable candidates to lead an entire state.
* He eventually won "Survivor All-Stars." Boneham should aim higher than governor. Because he won a million dollars by eating bugs, this means he has a better economic plan than any of the candidates for president.
* I love the Country Music Awards. Some guy is up there singing about how his dog died, his wife left, he lost his job. Then he wins an award. "This is the greatest day of my life."
* Using GPS technology, the border between North and South Carolina is being redrawn to narrow it down to the nearest centimeter. Centimeter? I'd be happy if my GPS could direct me to within 3 ½ miles of the Walmart.
* Citizens of Clintonville, Wisc. report hearing a "mystery sound" unlike anything they've ever heard in their lives. Not to worry. People in Omaha once reported the same thing. The sound turned out to be a pothole being repaired.
* Queen Elizabeth surprised a couple of commoners by showing up at their wedding. The queen's appearance was her wedding gift to the couple. I'm going to try that next time I'm invited to a wedding. "Where's the gift?" "You're looking at it."
* Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis gave Stanford‘s basketball team a pep talk before Stanford won the NIT. Stanford was the first NIT finalist team to take the court by running through the locker room wall.
* Spring football practice is underway at Kansas. The goals are modest. Kansas is just hoping to finish spring practice with the same head coach it started with.
* Jose Canseco mistakenly tweeted that Al Gore is dead and then added some bizarre views on global warming. I'd like to apologize to the millions of people around the world who depend on Jose Canseco for accurate political and scientific analysis.
* This is when you know baseball season is getting underway - Canseco does something dumb. Forget the president throwing out the first pitch.
* After beating Louisville in the Final Four, Kentucky fans in Lexington overturned cars. Which is a big departure from their usual Saturday night, which would involve tipping over cows.
* Kentucky fans were overturning cars and burning couches. I haven't seen people in Kentucky this worked up since the opening of possum season.
* What's the mentality? "We just wrecked my Buick, but that's not enough of a tribute to prove our love for the Wildcats. I know - let's burn a sofa."
* If you missed the Louisville-Kentucky game, the people in the stands were the same folks in the audience for the American Association of Country Music Awards.
* It's Kansas vs. Kentucky in the championship game. I believe the theme is "The Rich Get Richer."
* A urologist offered a Final Four special: reduced prices on vasectomies and that includes free pizza. I'd hate to meet the guy who says: "I was really planning on having children. But darn it, free pizza is free pizza. Sign me up."