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* The White House announced that Michelle Obama is going to appear on two episodes of "The Biggest Loser." The Obamas are so obsessed with appearing on entertainment shows that they're requesting the health care debate be transferred from the U.S. Supreme Court to "Judge Judy."
* The TSA detained a passenger in Philadelphia who was carrying a "suspicious item." It was a piece of carry-on luggage smaller than a tractor-trailer.
* Pauly D from "Jersey Shore" now has his own spinoff show where he pursues his lifelong dream of becoming a DJ. Remember when the lifelong dreams of young Americans were to become a doctor, or even to run for president?
* The falcons living outside the 28th floor of the Woodmen building have three new eggs. Today, an Omaha city official crawled out on a ledge to place a bill for the new Omaha egg tax inside their nest.
* Half the polling places in Omaha are closing. Idea: Hold the May 15 primary in conjunction with the Omaha Marathon, and voters can run 26.2 miles to their closest polling place.
* The Texas state primary has been postponed to May 29 because of litigation over redistricting maps. Apparently, what's going on is Texas is trying to use its newfound leverage in the Big 12 to annex Kansas.
* During a campaign stop in Iowa, Joe Biden mistakenly referred to Scott Community College president Dr. Theresa Paper as "Dr. Pepper." I'm thinking this administration is so devoid of ideas for paying down the national defbt that it's now resorting to product placement.
* The flub was so silly and stupid that Biden has been named chairman of the next Iowa caucuses.
* Some say Biden is being used to win over blue collar workers. There may be something to it, because Biden is now insisting on being addressed as "Joe the Plumber."
* Newt Gingrich has laid off another one-third of his campaign staff. So many staffers have been let go that instead of a bus, now the Gingrich campaign will be crossing the country on a moped.
* On Thursday, President Obama was scheduled to attend fundraisers in Maine and Connecticut. He is expected to make history as the first president to spend entire presidency jet-lagged from attending all the fundraisers.
* A Mitt Romney aide said that "Rick Santorum is like a football team celebrating a field goal when they are losing by seven touchdowns." Which I guess is why Santorum related so well to voters in Kansas and Iowa.
* The Mega Millions lottery reached a record $490 million. To put this in perspective, it takes President Obama almost a week to raise that kind of money on the campaign trail.
* "The world's oldest newlyweds" have tied the knot in California. The bride is 95; the groom is 98. Like many newly married couples in this economy, they're moving in with her parents.
* It's downhill from here. The hard part is over: getting back up after he dropped to one knee for the proposal.
* Employers in the U.S. are now asking for job applicants' Facebook passwords. This may be the only good reason to open a MySpace account.
* Employers are checking Facebook. Note to self: reason No. 1,895 to shut down Facebook account.
* Pope Benedict XVI is beginning his historic visit to Cuba. To fit in on the streets of Cuba, he'll be riding in a 1950s era Popemobile.
* This is reprehensible: In Texas, a man stole a cash box containing Girl Scout cookie sales money. He was going to rob a armored truck but correctly reasoned there was more money in the Girl Scout cookie till.
* Lady Gaga's ex-boyfriend, former Nebraskan Luc Carl, has written a book called "The Drunk Diet" about how to stay in good shape and still keep drinking beer. John Grisham said, "Darn it. That was my idea for my next book."
* The Rev. Pat Robertson suggested that after the shady way the Denver Broncos treated Tim Tebow, it'd be karma if Peyton Manning gets hurt. So it sounds like the New Orleans Saints just found their next defensive coordinator.
* Nike and Reebok are in a legal fight over marketing rights to Tim Tebow. This is sort of like the tensions between North and South Korea, only with a lot more at stake.
* Jeremy Shockey is denying that he's the "snitch" in the New Orleans Saints bounty case. Let me explain what's going on: Professional athletes today are a lot like the characters on "The Sopranos," only with generally slightly lower morals.
* The NBA fined Knicks guard J.R. Smith $25,000 for an inappropriate Tweet. If we start fining athletes 25 grand for every inappropriate Tweet, we can fund Social Security for another decade.
* The new UNO softball complex has opened. Nebraska regents said they're looking forward to visiting for the first time in March 2027.