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* Chuck Hassebrook has dropped out of the Nebraska Democratic Senate race. Now he can spend more time with loved ones. Bob Kerrey said, "You're lucky - all my loved ones are in New York."
* Ohio congressional candidate "Joe the Plumber" said Americans need to take time to study candidates and not base their voting decisions on 30-second sound bites. You know American politics is in big trouble when the most profound comment of campaign season is by "Joe the Plumber."
* Another sequel to the movie "American Pie" will be released on April 6. The cast is getting up there. This time the plot revolves around trying to find a good Medicare supplement plan.
* On Wednesday, Facebook in Europe went down for two hours. Millions of people sat frozen, unable to think or function, with drool dripping from their mouths.
* The Facebook outage was horrific. Users were unable to post inane messages that would never be read by people they'll never meet.
* Solar storms on Thursday may disrupt flights and interfere with radio signals. The National Weather Service is helping to predict them. I'd feel more confident if they were able to deliver accurate forecasts for, say, Hastings.
* Mitt Romney won the Alaska caucuses by relating to Alaskans. For example, Romney took interest in the Iditarod. Only he said that if it were up to him, instead of pulling sleds, the dogs would be riding in crates on top of cars.
* Newt Gingrich fell asleep during a campaign appearance earlier this week. Finally, one of these candidates is actually entitled to compare himself to Ronald Reagan.
* This is when you know it's been a long GOP race. You hear: "I'm excited about our chances ... zzzzz."
* You know the race is tedious when candidates start leaving wake-up calls for halfway through their own speeches.
* Sarah Palin teased us that she could enter this year's GOP presidential race. You know what they say: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 987 times, shame on me.
* The Omaha City Council unanimously passed a measure to fine people who leave their trash cans on the curb. This is also known as: Operation Fund The Police Chief's Pension, Part I.
* I'm trying to get a ruling on what happens if my trash cans topple into the pothole in front of my house and it takes me three days to rappel down and get them out.
* A Texas couple has offered a $500 reward for the return of the 400-pound bronze elephant statue that was stolen from their front yard. I think the list of suspects has to start with any neighbors who value their view.
* It's horrible: the most subtle and sophisticated work of art in Texas, gone.
* Because it's Texas, the couple plans to replace the missing art with a 40-by-90 painting of dogs playing poker.
* American Airlines has started offering free beer on most overseas flights. Only a business with the mentality of an airline would give away beer and charge you to check a piece of luggage.
* Arizona Cardinals lineman Darnell Dockett tried to recruit Peyton Manning by offering him doughnuts. So far, no response from Manning. But Prince Fielder and CC Sabathia offered to become two-sport athletes.
* At a game on June 29, the Tampa Bay Rays are going to pass out teddy bears with Don Zimmer's face to the first 10,000 fans. I look for a huge surge of people trying to be the 10,001st fan into the stadium.
* I read that soccer stars in South America are treated like royalty. That seems pretty dumb. Of course, our U.S. custom of splashing body paint on naked athletes and sticking their photos in Sports Illustrated may seem slightly weird to South Americans.
* The New York Knicks are working with a doctor to help them sleep at night after games. He's having players watch footage of a Knicks game before Jeremy Lin got there.
* Jeremy Lin said Kim Kardashian isn't his type. Too bad. Because he has a pulse and wears a professional sports jersey, we know he's her type.