Premium ContentMouse over Home then click on Premium Content for information.Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.
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* After President Obama released his 2013 budget on Monday, a congressional Republican spent four straight hours criticizing it. Then he said, "OK, on to paragraph 2."
* Valentine's Day is when you express your feelings for the one you love. Memo to Omahans: All those who sent a Valentine to Chick-fil-A will have it returned unopened.
* According to a World-Herald article, more men will be receiving Valentine's flowers from women this year. Listen up, ladies: Flowers are OK, but if most guys see a vase on their desk, they'd prefer it be filled with a wrench, a cheeseburger and new batteries for the TV remote.
* On Saturday morning, it was 3 degrees in Omaha and 1 degree in Lincoln. The Omaha Convention and Visitors Bureau put out a press release praising Omaha over Lincoln because of its "warmer climate."
* The morning commute on Monday was a little slick. In tribute to the upcoming U.S. Figure Skating Championships in Omaha, cars of the Dodge Expressway were doing triple Salchows.
* A quicky summary of just how slick roads are on Monday morning: Leavenworth is closed for ice fishing.
* On Saturday afternoon, it was 40 below in Omaha. That was just the temperature between Greg and Doug McDermott.
* I think Valentine's Day is generally a bigger holiday for many women than for many men. For men, it's basically like Groundhog Day, only less eventful.
* Just in time for Valentine's Day, Paula Deen introduced her cheese- and lard-covered fried chocolates with cheddar bacon filling.
* The Nebraska Legislature is simultaneously considering proposals to raise members' pay and extend their term limits. It's all part of the "Looking Out For No. 1" bill.
* Nebraska voters last approved a pay raise for legislators 24 years, or, two accomplishments ago.
* An effort is being made to make the bighorn sheep relocated to Nebraska from Canada feel that they're still in Canada. Which I'm assuming involves showing them hockey highlights around the clock.
* I'm beginning to think Bob Kerrey enjoyed the attention. Today he called nine radio shows to say he's still not going to enter the Nebraska Senate race.
* The Romney campaign has agreed to stop playing the song "Wavin' Flag" by rapper K'naan after K'naan complained. In his bid to appear current, Romney said, "No loss. K'naan is no Men Without Hats."
* Romney is trying to appear in-tune with today's pop culture. Just yesterday he worked in three Partridge Family references.
* On her "Let's Move!" tour, Michelle Obama is sometimes seen in two different outfits on the same day. It sounds more like "Let's Shop!"
* President Obama is partially dismantling the "No Child Left Behind" program. Instead, he is replacing it with an even more ambitious "No Large Campaign Donor Left Behind" program.
* I'm beginning to detect a hint of bias in the network coverage. For instance, with 0 percent of the vote in in the general election, CNN has declared Barack Obama the winner.
* Sen. John McCain said Rick Santorum won three states last Tuesday because of poor turnout. The turnout was so bad that it looked like a Nebraska men's basketball game, only with voting booths.
* Roseanne Barr is officially running for president. She threw her straitjacket into the ring.
* It's nice that Roseanne is running. Since Newt Gingrich is calling for building a moon colony, it's good to have someone from another galaxy represented.
* The Facebook IPO will make billionaires out of ordinary Americans. That's not to be confused with Obama's proposed tax plan, which will make ordinary Americans out of billionaires.
* I saw an article on USAToday.com titled: "Why Starbucks Is Enjoying Success in China." I'm going to guess it has something to do with there being 2 billion people in China and about four Starbucks.
* A California man was not seriously hurt after his 70-year-old father shot at him six times for singing karaoke around the house. This is either a hugely dysfunctional family or it was some really bad karaoke. I'm voting for a combination.
* The son was shot at six times for singing karaoke. Well, he should have known better.
* A star of the MTV show "Teen Mom 2" was arrested for the second time in a week. I'm sure you're thinking the same thing I am - sounds low.
* Sunday night the annual AARP talent show was held. Wait, my mistake. That was the Grammy Awards.
* For the unfamiliar, the Grammys are when we honor musicians who are even too old for the Super Bowl halftime show.
* On Saturday, Rihanna was spotted at the post office buying two postage stamps and some twine to make her Grammy outfit.
* Over the weekend, there was a gathering of arch-conservatives with a right-wing agenda. Sometimes that's called "the Southeastern Conference spring meetings."
* Nebraska high schools have been using a brand of basketball that's lopsided. Officials knew something was wrong when an Omaha Central player put up a shot that missed.
* The Pebble Beach National Pro-Am combines professionals with amateurs. Sort of like the Washington Wizards roster.
* Jose Canseco announced he's making a comeback and joining a baseball team in Mexico. Mexican officials reacted by calling for an end to NAFTA.
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