Dads-to-be, drinks and diapers

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On Momaha.com: Chime in on dadchelor parties at Momaha.

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Justin Kucks played poker, sipped beer and swapped stories with buddies.

A typical guys night out? Not exactly.

Did we mention Kucks arrived home with more than 3,000 diapers — enough that a pickup and SUV were needed to haul them?

Kucks, who's 31, was guest of honor at a type of party becoming more common in Omaha and around the country.

They're called "dadchelor" parties or diaper parties. Think of them as kind of a bachelor-type party for dads-to-be, but usually a lot tamer than those beer-soaked bashes before marriage.

Here's how they work: Friends take an expectant dad out for one last fling before midnight feedings, daycare drop-offs and other dad duties kick in. Sometimes buddies bring diapers, gift cards and even a diaper bag as presents for the dad on deck.

The parties are so new that sociologists are still trying to figure out how they originated and what significance they carry. It's likely the parties are a response to the growing role men play in parenting.

These parties may sound a little like a baby shower, but they sure don't look like one. If there's any hugging, it's just the two-claps-on-the-back man version. Definitely no squealing over pink footie jammies — or guessing what kind of baby food was just sampled.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

But you might see high fives, cheers after a touchdown and guys devouring manhole-cover-size plates of buffalo wings.

Kucks' buddies threw his party at the Loose Moose Bar and Grill, a northwest Omaha spot with two dozen TVs that has hosted four dadchelor parties in the past year. Dad parties also have cropped up at the Blue Jay bar near the Creighton University campus and the Dundee Dell and Krug Park bars in central Omaha. Johnny's Hall of Fame Bar in downtown Des Moines has hosted two in the last six months.

Beer and scotch tastings highlighted the dad parties at the Dell. The expectant dad and pals tossed darts at the Blue Jay and watched sports on a 52-inch plasma TV in a basement party room. Guys at the Des Moines bar munched pizza and rooted for teams in college and NFL games.

Kucks' party drew more than 30 guys on a Saturday afternoon this spring including his dad, uncles, softball teammates and co-workers from Automatic Data Processing.

"It was awesome,'' he said, "hanging out and seeing everybody."

His party featured a poker tournament that he ended up winning.

Around the country, groups of guys have flown to spots such as Las Vegas and Miami for dad parties, said Ysolt Usigan of thebump.com, a web site for first-time parents. Golf outings and trips to watch professional football and baseball are popular.

Usigan said dad parties started popping up five years ago and have become more common the last couple years. Some dad parties in other parts of the country are actually called, awkwardly enough, "man showers."

Chris Rezac of Omaha organized the party for Kucks. The two met as freshmen at Burke High School and became fraternity brothers at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Rezac has hosted dad parties for other high school and college friends.

Baby showers give women a chance to celebrate a friend's motherhood, Rezac said, and men deserve the same.

"The girls get a party,'' he said. "Why can't the guys get a party?"

Ryan Callinan said that was part of the motivation for a dad party he organized at the Krug Park bar last month for 23-year-old Buck Blanc, a fellow member of The Seen, an Omaha rock band.

Julia McQuillan, a sociology professor at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, said that with men playing a bigger part in parenting, it makes sense that they would respond with baby showers of their own. The amount of time dads who live with their kids spend each week caring for them has more than doubled since the 1960s, according to the Pew Research Center.

Because of that bigger role, fatherhood is more life-changing than it was decades ago, McQuillan said. The dad parties are a way for a man's friends to recognize and celebrate that shift.

"The idea is — your life is going to change and you're expected to be there for this child,'' she said. "That's really powerful."

Men also want to show their friend that they will help, even though they may not know a size 1 diaper from a size 2.

Callinan said a new dad needs to know his friends are there for him. He said the party he organized sent a simple message: "We've got your back."

Bradford Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, said the dad parties seem like a healthy trend.

"It signals to guys you can be both a man and a good father," he said.

Kucks said that theme surfaced at his party. Many who attended were new dads or were planning to have kids. So though even though they jawed about Husker football, they also shared stories about 2 a.m. diaper changes.

Kucks' wife, Lea, said she was happy his friends turned out to show support.

She said the truckload of diapers — easily worth more than $500 — was a bonus.

By the end of the party, diapers were stacked more than 8 feet high.

Customers stepping into the Loose Moose during the party did a double-take when they spotted the pile of Pampers, Luvs and Huggies, said Chuck Shanahan, the bar's general manager.

"It's an interesting sight to see inside a bar and grill,'' he said.

Kucks' party was in April. On May 11, he and his wife became first-time parents of a little boy named Jett.

Their son is nearly 6 months old, and so far, they haven't spent a penny on diapers. Better yet, no late-night diaper runs.

They received a good mix of sizes, but did exchange some packs for sizes they ran a little short on.

The Kucks stored all the diapers floor to ceiling in their laundry room.

"It looked," Lea said, "like the diaper aisle at Target."

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