Premium ContentMouse over Home then click on Premium Content for information.In nearly 30 years of marriage, Anne and Pat Walsh of Omaha have flown together just once without their children.
“I never felt comfortable flying with my husband and leaving the kids behind,” Anne Walsh said. “We would just take separate flights and try to arrive within a short time of each other. One would just wait for the other to come in.”
The Walshes are among scores of parents who find that taking trips together without their kids, for pleasure or work, requires planning. It's not like taking off as a carefree twosome. They know they must figure out flight logistics, get the right baby sitter and make sure wills and other financial documents are in order.
Some decide they should take separate flights so their kids would have one parent left if tragedy strikes, logical or not.
The Walshes were among that number.
Of course, the couple also commute in the same car each weekday to their jobs at Union Pacific in downtown Omaha.
“I am sure my mortality rate on the Interstate driving with my husband back and forth to work is probably much higher than flying on an airplane together,” Anne said.
She's right. According to the National Safety Council, the odds of dying in a motor-vehicle accident are 1 in 88, while the chances of dying in an air and space transport accident are 1 in 7,032. The latest figures from the National Transportation Safety Board back that up. In 2009, 33,808 people died in motor-vehicle accidents in the United States. The total number of people killed in aviation accidents was 538.
But imbedded in the psyche of some parents is something that flips those risks. The “what if” scenarios are so real that they feel a responsibility to take separate flights even if they ride together on date nights.
There's something about a commercial airliner crashing with 150 people aboard that leaves a lasting impression, said Scott Tarry, director of the University of Nebraska at Omaha's Aviation Institute.
“And it certainly gets more prominent press coverage,” he said. “So you start to think, ‘What's going to be the impact on our family if we travel by air?' I don't think you ever talk about driving separately.”
Tarry, a pilot as well as an aviation professor, always flies with his wife when they travel together, with or without their children.
“I am more petrified if I go to New York and get into a cab than if I am of flying in,” he said.
Omaha travel consultant Jill Evers says couples and families who decide to travel separately may have additional costs and logistical hurdles such as delays because of weather or airplane maintenance. She says couples should be aware of the pitfalls.
“If there is a storm in Dallas or a storm in Chicago and not in Dallas, then one gets hung up and they just have to understand that it could be that one gets there on time and the other gets there six hours later,” Evers said. “When you fly, you are at the mercy of the airline.”
Beyond the flight question are the risks to your kids when you're not there.
When Ann Kushner of Omaha and her husband, Martin, were planning a cruise without their twin daughters, then 8 years old, they had no will.
The trip prompted them to get one, Kushner said.
“We just made sure they were taken care of,” Kushner said of her kids. But once that was settled, the Kushners didn't even consider taking separate flights.
“The whole reason we were traveling was to be together,” she said.
Besides a will, traveling parents should be sure they have selected a guardian, prepared a medical temporary power of attorney and found a reliable baby sitter, either a trusted family member or a trained professional.
Omaha estate planning attorney Andy Sigerson encourages parents to ensure their family's future as soon as they have their first child.
That's the time to get a will, he said, and establish a health care power of attorney, a financial power-of-attorney and a living will.
A will is the only place you can name a guardian and specify how you want your children to be raised. If parents don't have a will when they die, a court will decide those issues.
Parents also should prepare a temporary power-of-attorney giving baby sitters or relatives permission to seek medical treatment for their children in case of an emergency.
Sigerson and his wife always leave a simple paragraph that includes the names and birth dates of their children, the name of the person to have power of attorney and the duration of the agreement. Both parents sign it.
It's important for anyone in charge of your children to be aware of your family emergency procedures such as what to do in case of a fire or tornado, said Tim Tichy, community safety manager for the Greater Omaha Chapter of the National Safety Council. They also should know CPR and how to properly install car seats for younger kids.
This might seem to be a lot of hassle, but remember: When you travel with your loved ones, you're adding pages to the family scrapbook.
Kushner, who lost her husband to cancer in 1998, often thinks back to the travel adventures she shared with him and their children.
“You have to live your life fully, and I am thankful that I did that,” Kushner said. “That's why we have so many good memories of traveling as a family and as a couple.”
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