Omaha native Brad Dickson reviews this week in sports. Dickson is a former writer for “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.”
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I missed the World Cup opening ceremonies on Thursday night. They conflicted with the Big 12 going out of business sale.
The Fourth of July is coming up, but for NU Friday was Independence Day.
This was the most attention ever paid to an NU Board of Regents meeting. Actually, it’s the first time any attention was paid to an NU Board of Regents meeting.
Usually when there’s this kind of scrutiny given to a group of men meeting in a room, we’re waiting for a plume of smoke to see if a new pope was selected.
About a week ago Commissioner Dan Beebe said the Big 12 will remain intact and implied you could take that to the bank. Apparently that bank was TierOne.
Beebe’s staff has compared the Big 12 to a marriage. Right now it’s looking a lot like the Al and Tipper Gore marriage.
Kansas Chancellor Bernadette Gray-Little called UNL Chancellor Harvey Perlman to urge him to stay in the Big 12. Some call her BGL. She may have had better luck with Perlman if her initials were BCS.
The Kansas chancellor talked to Perlman about loyalty. Then she cut the conversation short so she could go buy a new paper shredder. The old one jammed when she was running Mark Mangino’s contract through it.
It was a private conversation between two people. You know what that will be called in the future? “Big 12 conference call.”
The Big Ten and Notre Dame have reportedly “resumed their flirtation.” The Taster’s Choice couple didn’t flirt this long.
Colorado is joining the Pac-10. The long-term goal is to create a superconference composed entirely of schools where Rick Neuheisel has worn out his welcome.
Colorado officially joins the Pac-10 in August 2012. In Lane Kiffin terms, that’s three jobs from now.
The latest rumor has Kansas going to the Big East Conference. There’s a group of people who think Kansas competing in the Big East is absurd. I believe that group is called “geographers.”
The Big 12 basketball championship will return to Kansas City from 2011-2014. By 2014 the game could feature Kansas against its perennial Big 12 rival Bemidji State.
In talking about his recent incident, Ben Roethlisberger said he was young and dumb. He’s going on 29, so I guess that means he’s just dumb.
The Omaha Royals unveiled a model of the new Sarpy County stadium which includes a kids’ playground. The idea is a kids’ play area will keep adults coming back. That’s why Richman Gordman is still so wildly successful — oh, never mind.
The “unique outfield” is designed to give the Royals home field advantage. Let’s hope this isn’t the same architectural firm that did the Gene Leahy Mall, or outfielders will have to leap over benches that look like frogs eating a fly.
Ozzy Osbourne led Dodgers fans in an attempt to break the Guinness World Record for “longest, loudest scream.” They fell just short of the existing record set by a motel guest in La Vista who found a python on the toilet.
The Major League Baseball draft was held last week. Kate Hudson traded the top pick to Cameron Diaz for three minor leaguers and a player to be named later.
The top pick was Bryce Harper, selected by the Nationals. His agent, Scott Boras, hinted that if a good contract can’t be reached his client is prepared to sit around Washington doing nothing, which I believe technically would make him a member of Congress.
Washington Nationals phenom Stephen Strasburg dominated in his first major league game. The Nationals sold standing room-only tickets. Even President Obama couldn’t get a seat. Well, Obama had a seat, but Rod Blagojevich sold it.
A Washington, D.C., burger joint is selling a “Strasburger” — a hot dog on top of a hamburger smothered in cheese with 14 pickles. Sounds more like a “Sabathian.”
At a Tampa Bay Rays game Dick Vitale was hit by a foul ball. He’s OK. His friends didn’t realize Vitale had been hit by the line drive. He was screaming, jumping around, swinging his arms — just acting normal.
After Game 3 of the NBA Finals Kobe Bryant wiped his nose and rubbed his hand into the hair of ESPN’s Ric Bucher. If the Lakers win the title, can we not chalk it up to their “maturity?”
The L.A. Sparks hosted an outdoor WNBA game. It was just like a pick-up game on the playground, only with fewer fans.
North Korea could play South Korea in the World Cup. I don’t know about you, but I’m sick and tired of all these pumped-up, fake “rivalries” in sports.
The Chicago Blackhawks won their first Stanley Cup since 1961. You know what Cubs fans call a team that wins a title once every 49 years? “Dynasty.”
While covering Justin Rose’s victory at the Memorial Golf Tournament, Jim Nantz quoted lyrics from Bette Midler’s “The Rose.” Play had to be halted when the entire gallery began projectile vomiting.
Drosselmeyer won the slowest Belmont Stakes in nearly two decades. The race was so slow the far right turn featured a rest stop.
And finally: On Oct. 31 the Talladega Motor Speedway is offering NASCAR fans free “all-you-can-eat” concession food. Because it’s Halloween, that’s going to be confusing by the end of the race. “Hey Ed, I love your Halloween fat suit.” “What fat suit?”
— Dickson, an Omaha native, is a former writer for “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno.”
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