Ndamukong Suh donated $2.6 million to the university, most of it going to the strength program. A desperate-for-funds Jim Suttle and Dave Heineman both put a couple dumbbells in their offices and asked Suh to drop by and perhaps donate to their “strength programs.”
Suh was drafted by the Detroit Lions in the hope he can bail out the auto industry.
Odd but true: Subway unveiled a life-size bust of Suh made of 1,000 slices of pepperoni. Reportedly Jets’ coach Rex Ryan tried to trade up to draft pepperoni Suh.
It’s the biggest draft day bust since Tim Couch.
There was a life-size bust of Mel Kiper Jr. made of ham wait, that was the actual Kiper.
The NFL draft lasted three days. By the end of the draft Larry King had a different wife and Jerry Jones had a new nose.
Does it seem like the draft experts on ESPN are a little competitive with one another? Someone asked Mel Kiper Jr. about “Mr. Irrelevant” and he said, “You mean Todd McShay?”
Oklahoma’s Gerald McCoy rang the closing bell at the New York Stock Exchange. Then Ben Bernanke bench pressed 225 pounds three more times than McCoy did at the combine.
When Tim Tebow was drafted by the Broncos 500 people in Denver gave him a standing ovation. And those were just the eye-black salesmen.
The Nebraska spring game featured a Bouncearooski, with Cody Green bouncing a lateral to Mike McNeil who fired a 31-yard pass to Niles Paul. I think it reflects poorly on Doc that the best bounce pass in Lincoln this year occurred at a football game.
Bill Snyder is doing well after suffering torn knee ligaments when he was hit during a K-State scrimmage. Fortunately his “I’ve Fallen and I can’t get up” alarm was activated.
Ben Roethlisberger may be traded to a new team and city where he fits in. So next season I’m looking for him to suit up for the Sodom and Gomorrah Bulldogs.
Roethlisberger was suspended for six games. Four games for his behavior and two games for having a haircut that makes him look guilty of everything bad that’s ever happened.
The NCAA basketball tourney is expanding to 68 teams. This is supposed to please fans of the NIT. So Fred Williams and Sally Jones, consider yourselves pleased.
When they heard the NCAA tournament was expanding to 68 schools, Big Ten conference officials said, “You too?”
Several local hotels are already offering specials for College World Series fans. In La Vista there’s a new “Pythons Stay Free” program.
Martha Stewart sat behind the Yankees bench at a game and chatted with A-Rod. She probably told him something like, “Egg shells make a great place to store your performance enhancers.”
The Pittsburgh Pirates lost to the Brewers 20-0. It’s so bad Somali pirates issued a press release stating “We are in no way affiliated with the MLB team in Pittsburgh.”
There’s a new reality TV series where they make miracles happen. In episode three the NU baseball team wins a Big 12 series.
Springfield (Mass.) College has a 58-year-old pitcher on the JV team. He’s realistic. If he’s not called up to the varsity by the time he’s 62 the majors are probably not going to happen.
Council Bluffs has a new program for students called One Kid, One Computer. That’s not to be confused with the program in Omaha, One Kid, One Baseball Stadium.
Building costs for the Sarpy County stadium are $6 million over the original estimate. And that’s just gas money for the construction crews to get to the site.
The stadium is supposed to promote a “family atmosphere.” First lesson for the kids on opening day don’t believe contractors.
The Bulls’ Joakim Noah riled locals when he said there’s nothing else going on in Cleveland. I’ll bet the sponsors of the American Lint Convention and the National Polka Quarterfinals will be surprised to hear that.
Last week U.S. Winter Olympic athletes visited the White House and met government leaders. The event was marred with Johnny Weir and Nancy Pelosi showed up in the same outfit.
“Mayhem” Jason Miller apologized for his role in a brawl after a Strikeforce MMA card. Yeah, that was a shock. “Mayhem” Miller is the last person I’d guess would be in a brawl.
St. Louis park officials shut down an adult kickball league due to “a pattern of abusive language, public urination, nudity and disrespect.” Great, now what is Ben Roethlisberger going to do during his suspension?
A record was set in the Boston Marathon 2 hours, 5 minutes, 52 seconds. That breaks the old record for running 26 miles, set by a hotel guest in La Vista who discovered a python on the toilet.
A contingent of WWE rasslers were stuck in Europe due to that giant cloud of volcanic ash. This is the first time in 30 years anything happened in pro rassling that wasn’t planned.
According to a survey 60 percent of Nebraskans identified Eyjafjallajokull as that Icelandic volcano; the other 40 percent thought Eyjafjallajokull was the name of a forward Doc Sadler is recruiting.
And finally: A dog got loose on the field during a Northwest Arkansas Naturals game and went to the bathroom near second base. I don’t know who was more upset the grounds crew or the guy on first who got the steal sign.
Dickson, an Omaha native, is a former writer for “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno.”
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