Saturday’s Red-White game was held under “game conditions” and was a virtual sellout. The “game conditions” were so realistic I couldn’t get a ticket.
With the 2010 spring game in the record books, Nebraskans can now relax and forget about football until sometime tomorrow afternoon.
Saturday, Husker fans got their first look at the “peso” defense. “Peso” comes from Carl Pelini, which probably means the full name is the “@#$% peso.”
The Huskers hope the offense is improved. Their goal is to put up as many points in the fall as the NU baseball team’s opponents have this spring.
This year’s NFL draft has been extended to three days. That’s to give paramedics an extra day to revive attendees who faint after hearing the Oakland Raiders’ top pick.
Spring Break is over. A sad time for thousands of college students and Ben Roethlisberger.
A Pittsburgh company that makes beef jerky ended its sponsorship deal with Roethlisberger. I’m guessing the slogan was: “I put the jerk in jerky.”
The company already found a new spokesperson desperate for sponsorship deals, and will henceforth be called “Tiger’s Tasty Jerky.”
Omaha is getting a United Football League team. I don’t think there’s been this level of excitement in town since the second round of the CIT.
The league lost $30 million last season. Mayor Suttle attended the press conference. Between the Suttle Administration and the UFL they’re asking the public to donate a coin for the opening flip.
Now we need a team nickname that reflects the city. I’m thinking Omaha Budget Shortfalls.
The new team is expected to pump $10 million annually into the local economy. And that’s just what coach Jeff Jagodzinski will spend at the Bohemian Café.
The town of Allen, Texas, is spending $59.6 million on a new high school football stadium that seats 18,000 and has a video scoreboard. The way they feel about football in Texas, this could be for JV games.
Tiger Woods admitted taking Ambien. If he wanted to fall asleep he should have just watched any PGA event that he wasn’t playing in.
The Masters field featured 16-year-old amateur sensation Matteo Manassero playing alongside 80-year-old Arnold Palmer. We won’t see an 80-year-old and a 16-year-old together again at a sporting event until Jerry Buss shows up with his date for the playoffs.
Lakers coach Phil Jackson told reporters that Oklahoma City star Kevin Durant gets preferential treatment from referees. Kobe Bryant was unavailable for comment. He was busy tipping the refs who changed his oil and moved his weights up to the attic.
Oklahoma freshman Tommy Mason-Griffin announced on Facebook he was going to the NBA with this post: “I am leavin’ skool and enterin draft. I ain’t doin anotha year.” Oh, great, now who is Oklahoma going to nominate for Academic All-American?
Mariner Milton Bradley made an obscene gesture at fans. There’s something you don’t see every day. Maybe every other day.
Cincinnati outfielder Jay Bruce made obscene gestures with both hands. He’s the Pat Venditte of boorishness.
A New Jersey man is facing charges for allegedly intentionally vomiting on two people at a Phillies game. Psychologists say that considering he lived in New Jersey and rooted for the Phillies this behavior was not unexpected.
The Omaha Royals lost to Memphis in 18 innings at Rosenblatt. The game lasted 5 hours, 22 minutes. It was so long that during the contest two more stadiums in Omaha were built.
Five hours, 22 minutes. Dana Altman has held jobs that didn’t last that long.
Creighton baseball drew 368 fans for the home game against Illinois State. When they play at TD Ameritrade Park, this could be the first ever one-to-one ratio of ushers to fans.
Last Sunday, the Subway 600 was held. I believe Dale Earnhardt Jr. finished two cars behind Jared.
Helio Castroneves won the inaugural Indy Grand Prix of Alabama. This is the first Indy style event where they wave the caution flag due to road kill on the track.
In La Vista, a woman complained after finding a python snake on the toilet of her hotel room. I tell you, if everything isn’t just perfect these hotel guests go running to management.
Local officials leapt into action and called for a 4 percent “python surcharge” added to the hotel tax.
Sponsors say if you don’t want to do the entire Omaha Triathlon, get some friends to join you for a relay. I’m looking for 540 friends so we each cover 8 yards.
And finally: The baggy jeans worn by our Olympic snowboarders are going on sale to the public. Let’s hope this doesn’t lead to the “Johnny Weir line of fusca fedoras” for back to school.
Dickson, an Omaha native, is a former writer for “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno.”
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