I met up with a few friends for beers last week. To break the ice, I asked: “When a guy buys you a drink, how do you react?”
Apparently, that’s a touchy subject. My guy friends quickly became agitated.
We didn’t discuss the guilt a woman feels for accepting or rejecting drinks. We talked about “cocktail-diggers.”
I’d heard of gold diggers and gravediggers, but never a cocktail-digger. But according to the guys, that’s a woman who glams-up and waits at the bar for a sucker to buy her drinks.
“Whatever,” I protested. “No guy is that dense to fall for that kind of act.”
Just then, two cute blondes approached the bar. One complained that the cocktail prices were too much, so a man sitting nearby bought them each a drink. He didn’t get a smile or a thank-you. They snatched their drinks and walked away.
The next day, I Facebooked a few people to see if they’d heard of cocktail-diggers.
“They’re not for me,” said Abiola Kosoko, a 22-year-old Creighton University student. Kosoko said he avoids cocktail groupies at all costs.
“They’re vultures.”
“How do you know which lady is clawing for your wallet?” I asked.
“They’re always the younger ones with their birthday groups and bachelorette parties,” he said.
There are six ways to know if you’re talking to a thirsty cocktail-digger, Kosoko said.
Stay away from ...
... the gal wearing a tiara. It’s always that girl, always a princess.
... the gal who came without a purse, armed only with her charm.
... the busty gal. She’s the thirsty type, Kosoko said, and she shows all in hopes of getting all.
... the gal wearing a shirt that reads, “Bridesmaid.”
“It’s never the bride who asks — always the bridesmaids,” Kosoko said. “And the drinks aren’t ever really for the bride.”
... the sad gal. She’s makes it seem like it’s impossible for her to get a drink. Pity drives you to buy her one. The second she gets that drink, she’s gone.
... the baby. Ladies who flat out ask: “Will you buy me a shot?” When you decline, they beg and get pouty until you do.
A week ago, a dainty woman made an advance on Kosoko while he drank downtown at O’Connor’s Irish Pub.
“How’d you decline?” I asked.
He said he told them he didn’t have money. And it wasn’t a lie.
A blunt approach, I see.
The best way to win a man’s heart, we agreed, is not through free cocktails. Don’t beg — it looks pathetic. Just let it happen — great dialogue and maybe even a relationship — if it’s supposed to happen.
And if a guy buys you a drink, remember to smile and act grateful. That’s the ultimate attention-getter and conversation starter.
“That’s part of socializing at a bar,” said Dion Butler, 28, “just like when a man holds the door open for a woman.”
Carlos Mejia, 31, agreed. He doesn’t mind buying drinks when it’s his option.
“I usually offer and don’t expect anything in return,” he said. “I just like to have a good time.”
But if you ask him to buy one, he’ll tell you to “holla back.”
Women factor free cocktails into their evening. Marcus Bass, 29, said it’s how they choose their outfits.
“I think it’s half money, half ego,” he said. “Some women go out and compete for that type of attention.”
You have to be realistic, though. In most bars, everyone has a motive — whether it’s to get drunk on a guy’s dollar or for a guy to look for eye candy. And it doesn’t always work out.
“If I buy her a beer, I’m cheap. If I buy her a cocktail, I’m still cheap,” Bass said. “It’s a lose-lose situation for me in most cases.”
Copyright ©2012 Omaha World-Herald®. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, displayed or redistributed for any purpose without permission from the Omaha World-Herald.
